The Naga Saga

Februaryyyyy

2012-01-31T19:04:00.000-08:00

It's about to be a new month. It's about to be a new month!

I straightened my hair and did makeup. And put on jewelry.

SEE MAKEUP?? SEE JEWELRY??

Okay maybe not. Asians can only go so far with makeup or they look like clowns. But please tell me you can see that I am wearing pearls. And that my hair is straight(er) than usual, because I understand that my hair is usually straight. But I can tell the difference.

Haven't done that in awhile it feels like. Tomorrow I will do the same. Oh, and I also did my nails :). I discovered that neutral lip colors and nail colors for Asian skin tones MUST have some element of apricot or peach, not pink as their base color. I am loving a L'Oreal nail color in "Versailles Romance"from their uber-pretentious line, "Color Riche." Don't let the name throw you off, it's still only 6 bucks at CVS.

I have seen a lot of strange things on psychiatry so far. Too bad it would be a violation of HIPAA to tell you guys about most of them. I can say, however, that one should never underestimate the power of psychogenic forces. I have seen psychogenic blindness, seizures, inability to walk, inability to swallow, and inability to remember anything about oneself. It's called conversion disorder. It's weird stuff. Where the body translates stress into a physical symptom.

But if you think about it, we all do conversion at times. Stressed out? Boom--HEADACHE! Big test tomorrow? Boom--DIARRHEA!

I am looking forward to February, and the last two weeks of psychiatry. Being around so much brain pathology makes one wonder how much insanity lies within ones own cranium. Like I told my mother-in-law today, it's not that psychiatry isn't interesting. But I miss disease. I miss disease that I can smack with an antibiotic and say "I hope I don't see you in 10 days or else I've done a bad job."

Nope, I will gladly leave behind the world of it's-really-about-your-mother and psychotic patients who are crying like babies one moment, then biting people and slamming their face into tiled floors the next.

Working Mom

2012-01-18T16:29:00.000-08:00

These past two nights, I have been taking care of Miriam a lot because Andrew is busy, and it really got me thinking about working moms. Especially single moms.

I've been down. Sometimes life just throws you awful stuff and it's too sad to talk about. That happened recently. And I've been very hard on myself about psychiatry, too. It's a fascinating field, but I can't seem to quite get that "perfect" interview yet, and my attendings have made some hard criticisms, which I hate, because I want to be perfect right away. I always want to "get it" as soon as possible, but the psychiatric interview takes so much practice, which I don't have, and then I get even more down and critical on myself. I digress.

Anyway, after I come home from my full-time job (that's how I think of it, because I'm at the hospital from 6 to 5), I don't have a moment to rest and be myself. Or cry. Or whatever. (This isn't the case when hubby is available, but like I said, he's busy). I immediately have this little one who needs to be loved and cared for and fed and ... well, she's only two you know. Somehow I have to muster the strength and energy and focus to make it through the day without breaking into tears, and when I get home all I have are the dregs from that well of reserve, but they have to be enough to feed, bathe, entertain, clean...and then study and finish write-ups after the little one is asleep.

If this is how I feel after only a few days of no hubby, I cannot imagine the overwhelming difficulties that face a single mother. Literally every day of her every waking hour, somebody somewhere is placing demands on her that she has less and less strength to meet. I have a lot of respect for working mothers, and a lot of respect for what women everywhere are doing for years. I suppose I should stop feeling sorry for myself now.

One of those days

2011-12-12T19:38:00.001-08:00

Today:

- Car won't start and it's Not the Battery, because we replaced it two weeks ago

- Miriam has bleeding gums, foul breath, a fever and is hellishly angry at the world

- Andrew has a final paper due tomorrow only 1/2 done and a fever of 101F

- I have two exams and I'm ready for neither

- We are past the point of broke but we still have to pay for necessities with money we don't have

Friends, I am really, really stressed out. I am just thinking, okay, What Next?

Conflicts

2011-12-05T20:10:00.000-08:00

I just finished writing my reflection essay for my pediatric rotation. I wrote it about being a working mom, essentially. Not all women have the luxury of staying at home with the kids. Life may never have afforded them that opportunity. Or, like me, I have this nagging calling that if I don't fulfill it, I know I'll be doing something wrong. And I guess I also happen to be the primary breadwinner. Denying who I really am.

When it comes down to it, I know that women all over have decided out loud not to judge each other for our mutual decisions. The working woman has no right to turn up her nose at the stay-at-home mother, and neither does the home-schooling mom have any right to judge the woman who works full-time. I believe that you can be a good mother in both situations. And you can be a terrible mother yet be home all the time.

Anyway, despite this sort of social "yeah let's not judge each other," there is a definite unspoken culture about it. (Or spoken, I guess, if someone happens to be untactful). I've heard women staying at home be judgmental about "that mom" who is never around. I have heard female surgeons complain about how they couldn't stand their kids when they have to watch them all week.

I just hope that I do well by my child(ren). That I can, hopefully, join the generation of women that will not be work-bullied in a workplace of men, and will stand for themselves AND their children and say, "SUCK it dudes, I am a working mom AND I take care of the kids!!"

Thanks

2011-11-24T21:47:00.001-08:00

I love this holiday. Stuffing one's face and laughing with family members. I feel like this is what life is about.

Ugh

2011-11-20T20:54:00.001-08:00

Can everyone really get top-quality healthcare? Even if you don't pay a dime for it, not even a co-pay? And if you don't lift a finger to take care of your diabetes then expect to be treated like a king when you come in to get your foot chopped off because of diabetic gangrene? Or are morbidly obese but expect a pill or a procedure to be able solve the problems stemming from self-destructive eating habits? Or show up at a local ER and expect to get seen for chapped lips? Where does this sense of entitlement come from? In other countries, if you don't have money, you don't get treated. And then you die. It seems simple enough that we should be grateful for a system that tries not to lose anyone through the cracks--not even the ancient, alcoholic homeless man who ends up in a trauma hall, intubated, because he is so drunk he can't breathe on his own.

I guess, then, that this is my problem: I expect that those whom I perceive as ignoramuses would be a little more grateful for what they are getting. I see patients all the time on Medicaid and Medicare, getting million-dollar workups and treatment that I, as a privately insured person, would be swamped in medical bills for the rest of my life. And they are going to walk out of there not owing a dime. And with a pocket full of free parking passes. I know this because I /was/ a Medicaid recipient, and profoundly grateful for a law that protected me during pregnancy. I was also astonished that EVERYTHING WAS FREE when you're on Medicaid. No co-pay. No parking fees. They'll even give you bus fare. And probably 90% of the 30+ people sitting in those waiting rooms with me had iPhones, smartphones, iPods and gaming consoles...and nicer clothing, too.

My favorite saying among staff around the hospital is: "This is a hospital, not a hotel."

I am feeling a little bit jaded right now. It makes me sad to think how much ignorance and stupidity is floating around out there, and the hard part is to keep in mind that not all people are like that. It's just that the awful ones are so much louder than the sane ones.

Neurologist, The Nerd

2011-10-05T18:48:00.000-07:00

My current rotation is neurology and, honestly, I am loving it. Not because I am especially good at neuro, because I am not. I always forget that brainstem lesions have crossed findings on physical exam, I mix up the differences between spinothalamic tracts and the dorsal column and I've been told a million times that the medial longitudinal fasciculus is a commonly hit lesion in multiple sclerosis and presents with an afferent pupillary defect. Doesn't mean it'll stick. I envy my classmates with perfect memories and GPAs who always have the ready answer because I am always stumbling along like a blind bat in a white coat constantly tapping at people's knees...

Anyway, pity party aside, I love neurology because of the constant research. Papers are always being brought to the rounding table to discuss, all my attendings and residents ask, "What does the research say?" and in no other field is there such a big, blank canvas over the most important organ in the body (so say the neurologists, of course, but they're not biased). (The other day my resident called the heart, "such a dumbass organ").

I do enjoy developing a whole new vocabulary, too. Neurology feels like a speciality within the specialties. Very intellectual, very nerdy. I'll bet the average height of a neurologist is 5'4" to the 6'2" of the average orthopod. Neurologists geek out about localizing lesions on physical exam and lesions on diffusion-weighted image MRIs while orthopedic surgeons discuss their work-out routines.

It's fascinating stuff. I've seen patients with sporadic mad cow disease, rare autoimmune encephalitis (NMDA receptor positive encephalitis), and other crazy syndromes.

The flip side, of course, is how devastating all of this is. Perhaps that's the one downfall of neurology so far. I see very few remarkable outcomes and a lot of people spending a few weeks on the neuro service only to be shuttled off to hospice and nursing homes after. Lives devastated by multiple sclerosis and rapid dementias, leaving their families reeling. Meanwhile the neurologist dances around the bedside showing off the patient's horizontal right-beating nystagmus and 3/4 biceps, triceps, and brachioradialis reflexes with spread and clonus. You get the picture.

It's a fascinating field. The good thing is, we can only progress from where current research stands. Take even MS: the first FDA approved drug for MS didn't come out until the 90's. There was so much demand for the treatment that MS patients had to enter a lottery to determine who got the medicines first. If I were a research person, neurology would be the place to be, IMHO.

Reflection

2011-08-15T09:51:00.001-07:00

I wrote this assigned reflection paper for my surgery rotation. Since I did all the work, I figured I'd post it here. (Please note that some facts have been changed to protect patient privacy/information, and that my words here are simply private opinions and reflections and aren't an example of my institution's policies.)

***

He was 90 years old. Tall and lean, his quivering frame draped with translucent, papery skin through which I could see a mottled weave of capillaries and sun spots. My second-year resident stood at the head of the bed, injecting lidocaine into the edges of a deep 8 cm laceration on his scalp while two other medical students hung onto his head and his arm. I stood to the right of the gurney, and when the needle pierced the old man’s forehead, he let out a cry. As he began to strain against my grip I felt in his aging biceps the residual strength of what must have been a powerful man.

“No no!” he shouted. “ What are you doing up there? That hurts!” His cries and struggles continued despite pre-medication. He began to shake, eyes widening with horror as he looked at our faces through the fogged-up viewing pane of our eye protection. The cloying odor of urine drifted up from the man’s groin.

“Sir, we’re just trying to help,” my colleague tried to assure him. “You’ve had a nasty fall and we need to sew up this cut on your head.”

But the poor man shook and shook and cried, unable to process that the pain and the masks and the strange fluorescent lights glaring into his eyes were things that would help him, and the message that he had fallen and been injured was unable to make it past the haze of his Alzheimer’s disease. As I looked down into the trembling face of this man, my thoughts flicked far away, over the Pacific Ocean, to Hawaii, where my grandmother lives, the woman after whom I named my daughter. My grandmother was diagnosed a few weeks into third year with squamous cell lung cancer, metastases to the brain and acute, probably permanent, short term memory loss. Phrases from family email updates drift through my subconscious throughout the day, things like "she had to suffer through three repeat spinal taps" and "the doctors are discussing chemo/radiation options" and "she doesn't remember she has a great-grand-daughter."

My thoughts quickly snapped back to the present reality when the man I was supposed to be restraining pulled his arm out from my grip to swat at the needle in his forehead. I brought my attention to the task at hand, but this time my eyes were wet with tears.

***

I find that tears come easily these days, which surprised me to be honest. I was told to expect to feel coldness towards the suffering; I have heard other people say that it is a fight to remember the humanity of the patient. Nobody told me what to do about the opposite reaction, when the suffering of the patient and their family feels overwhelming, and when it becomes easy to identify with patients, such as in the case of the man with Alzheimer's described above. There are some images that are difficult to forget. What, I wonder, can good bedside manners do for the woman who blew off her face with a shotgun? Or the young man who was hit by a car, dying on a gurney with a broken neck while his family weeps? Or the man who shivers in his C-spine collar on the gurney, asking, Doc, am I dying, while the room pauses and the trauma surgeon leans over him with a sober face, and says yes, you are.

As a brand-new third year, my pasted-on smile and pathetic good intentions are completely at odds with the wreckage of humanity that rolls in through the trauma doors.

In the Bible, the book of Ecclesiastes (Chapter 1:18) says that "For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow." There is a sense in which medical education is gaining a type of wisdom, insofar as we gain knowledge of the healing of the human body. The downside to such knowledge is that we know how things can go terribly wrong with the body, and I believe that in order to cope with the sad truths of mortality, we set up walls of imperviousness and develop our own protections against the suffering.

So far I have seen it is common, acceptable, and even a point of bonding among physicians to complain about their patients and decry spending even twenty minutes in a room with a patient's overprotective family. I am not condemning this; rather, I think that venting frustration is an important way to maintain psychological health in such a high-stress, high-stakes career such as surgery. However, I have been told by three separate individuals that I should consider a career in psychiatry simply because I demonstrated an act of courtesy: I handed a man a box of tissues because he was crying at the bedside of his obtunded son, whom he had discovered hanging from the garage rafters in an intoxicated suicide attempt.

I suppose I have a lifetime to develop the "hardening" that I was told would inevitably happen. And at this point in time, in all honesty, I do not consider my tears a weakness, or the demonstration of simple kindness to be wasted effort. When I see myself in my patients and identify with their pain, I find that I go the extra mile when I might be too tired to do so otherwise, and I am happier about doing it. I know that in my future lies the hectic years of residency, in which the time crunch and so much new responsibility will often preclude me from being as kind or as patient as I ought to be. And yet I can't help but feel that I should be setting the habit now of small demonstrations of humanity, and that these small acts will make a huge impact down the line on how I ultimately decide I will treat my patients.

I would hope that somewhere, whoever is treating my grandmother would have similar good intentions, and that rather than be upset at her lack of understanding, would have pity on her condition despite not knowing much about her life or having any attachment to her as a person. I think as doctors we owe it to our patients to have at least an appreciation for their fellow humanity and to be gentle with their place of relative weakness.

POST CALL! WUT WUT!

2011-08-02T19:07:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know, I have just started my trauma portion of Surgery. Which means I am on call every three days.

Being on call means:

- I arrived on the floor at 4:30 a.m. Monday morning.

- I stayed on the floor and went to all traumas for my service until 10 a.m. Tuesday morning.

- I slept for 45 minutes.

Being post call means:

- Been up for almost 30 straight hours

- I almost fell asleep at the wheel on the way home: had to slap myself awake.

- Hazily processing what I saw last night

Last night's trauma included but was not limited to:

- A person with penetrating wounds to the chest. I subsequently watched trauma surgery squelch around some intestines looking for an abdominal bleed.

- Several car crash victims

- Crush injury from construction equipment

... etc. Well, folks, it was just another normal day in Surgery I suppose.

Figure 1: A Post-call Yawn

Funny or Pathetic? Yes, I'll have both.

2011-07-14T18:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you can look at an event in one of two ways: funny, or, pathetic. The combination can prove to be entertaining. With the help of some figures, I hope to illustrate my point by recounting my 2nd week of MS3 on General Surgery.

Figure 1: Tuesday, 3pm

Figure 1 demonstrates the effects of the stomach flu (i.e. bum on the toilet and bucket at hand.) I promptly left the hospital.

Figure 2: Tuesday, 4 p.m.

Figure 3 is not Wednesday but Thursday. Simple logical extrapolation should explain Wednesday quite well.

Figure 3 is me, crying silently and holding traction (keeping a wound open for the surgeons) while the tears fogged up my mask and the salty snot ran into my mouth. I had had no food but simple starches since Monday and I was physically spent from illness but being asked to stand for four hours and hold up instruments with no place to rest my arms. I'm pretty sure people have used standing for long periods as a means of torture.

Figure 4: A tragedy! And yes, I spilled coffee all over my white coat.

Figure 5: Coat washed in sink, waiting outside for it to dry. It only took 30 minutes for a sopping wet coat to be bone-dry. I, on the other hand...

But the best part, my favorite part, was our first feedback session.

Behold, Figure 6:

And yes, that is verbatim!

Dear friends, I am so glad this week is over.

Hello, I'm your medical student

2011-07-09T18:38:00.000-07:00

I survived my first week. I don't think I stepped on anyone's toes (although I did have to excuse myself from an operation because I almost passed out at the smell of burning flesh) and I managed not to kill my patient while operating a laparoscopic camera (a tiny camera on a flexible stick they poke into your belly button in laparoscopic surgery; this is to visualize the inside of the abdomen).

Third year is pretty awesome so far, but my body has to get used to the work hours. Surgeons in hospitals work /hard/. In addition to the emotional drain, it's a huge physical strain. Hours of standing, precious minutes of sitting. My back and feet ache by the end of the day. Surgeons also never just walk; their slowest gait is at least a power-walk, and when they really get going I am half-running to keep up. If I turn my back for a moment they will be out of my line of vision and I will lose them. I get the sense that they are always going places, always busy, always thinking about the next thing to get done.

Presentations are EXTREMELY brief and to the point: How's the wound site look? Did they die overnight? No? Good. Next patient.

I am going in tomorrow (we are starting very late: 8 o'clock. Which means I'll be getting there at 6 a.m., a welcome change from my previous 5 a.m. start-times).

I decided to sum up the rest of my experience in pictures. Enjoy.

MS3, First Week, Surgery:

MS3! MS3! MS3!

2011-06-28T16:36:00.001-07:00

Well, it's finally happening. I started my first rotation on Surgery today, and I scrub in on my first procedures tomorrow!

When I have time this weekend, I will write more about my experiences this week, but for today I will treat you to some artwork I did. Just some simple cartoons expressing my frustration over the continual invasion of my house by fire ants. Enjoy.... :).

OSCEs, among other things

2011-04-15T07:36:00.001-07:00

I am sick again. Last night was terrible: sniffles, aches, 101F fever, chills, joint pain whichever side I lay on, restlessness. Yuck. I have crashed on the couch with my syllabus, computer, pens and highlighters, and all that other random junk that tends to accumulate around the sick and bedridden: tissues, empty bowls, dirty spoons, gatorade bottles. Andrew is not feeling well either.

I decided to take a break from learning about rickettsia to write a quick update post. And, for my male readers, there will be no fashion in this one :).

I have received all but one grade for MS2. Barring an epic academic meltdown, I will be moving on to MS3 after two exams and the Step 1. I also took a practice exam that is supposed to predict your Step 1 score, and I passed it. That was encouraging.

Last weekend I took the OSCE's. Not sure what that acronym stands for, but it is essentially a test of my physical exam and history taking skills. I had ten standardized patients, ten minutes to do a history and physical, then five minutes to write a note on them. It was a whirlwind two and a half hours! However stressful it was, I found myself enjoying it. It was how I imagine speed dating must be like, except my dates were dressed in hospital gowns and I was looking in their eyes and poking them with my stethoscope. And diagnosing them with spontaneous pneumothorax, kidney stones, stable angina, gonorrhea, ear canal obstruction, hepatitis, cerebellar dysfunction and retinopathy. The OSCE patients were all actors, but it was still fun meeting them, and treating them as if their problem the real deal.

Meeting new people is always exciting. You never can predict what a person will be like, or what kind of story they will have to tell. And this past year we interviewed real hospital patients. I got to meet psych patients with schizophrenia, and cancer patients post-op. I met the nicest opioid addict, and a grandmother with all the chronic problems you could think of, but had a lust for life and such a love for God she was preaching to me from her hospital bed. We visited a nursing home and I interviewed a lady with severe Alzheimers who said she had no family, but when I looked at the wall above her bed it was covered in pictures of her with a handsome elderly man and what could only be her children and grandchildren. It was heartbreaking.

I know that they work us to death during third year. I've heard it's very easy to dehumanize everyone as a defense mechanism: whether because you're tired or it's yet another homeless person with the DT's or the situation is just too painful. I hope and pray to have the strength to take that little second to remind myself every time, this is a person. Hello, fellow human being. I'm your doctor today. Let's get you feeling better.

Anyway, that's all I have for now. I am excited and nervous and so hopeful for MS3. I am looking forward to experiencing the range of humanity in all its beautiful brokenness...

Love

2011-02-19T14:01:00.000-08:00

I was holding Miriam, watching Feist's Sesame Street 1234, which I think is better than the original song, when I noticed her head bobbing in the way of sleepy babies. She /never/ just falls asleep! She must have been tired from yesterday evening; Andrew and I took her to my school's multicultural show to watch the dances and so I could perform with my accapella group.

Anyway, I brought her Mr. Bear and she fell right asleep on my bed! I lay down next to her to make sure that she was falling asleep, and I kissed the top of her head and felt the most amazing rush of mommy-love. I used to think that I knew what it might feel like to be a mother. I remember feeling lots of those little "love-whooshes" when I held Jason as a baby.

Seriously, though, all my fuzzy feelings for my little brother don't hold a candle to the epic sort of oxytocin STORM that mother's feel when they are bonding with their baby. It's the most thrilling, the most beautiful, most perfect feeling--second only to how I felt when I married Andrew--and it feels so urgent and overwhelming, it's nearly primal in nature. It /is/ primal I guess :).

I always heard parents tell me they never imagined they could love a little person so much. Now when I talk about Miriam, I find myself saying the exact same thing because it is true. When Miriam was born, the parent in me was born, and I could have never imagined loving that little bundle of poopy bum-bum so much.

When Miriam was snoozing on my bed, I got teary-eyed just looking at her chubby face with little lashes resting on it. I would do anything to protect this girl, and I want so badly to be the best parent I can be, in my own faulty way.

Sometimes I forget how much I love Miriam, especially when she's throwing a tantrum and the house is dirty and I have buttloads of studying to do. But at the end of the day she's got my heart all twisted around her little pinky and that's how it's supposed to be :).

Give Thanks

2010-11-25T08:06:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving, dear readers. There are so many things to be thankful for! Miriam likes to clap. She agrees that we should be thankful.

Another thing to be thankful for is our car. That is, our new car. About two weeks ago the old 97 Honda Accord we inherited from Spencer and Jenny finally chugged its last chug; the transmission apparently broke into a lot of little pieces. Time to car-search! We ended up finding a 2007 Kia Spectra5 hatchback with only 50k miles, for an incredible price because of a cosmetic dent in the back. We are quite happy with it. It sorta looks like this:

Also, I am so thankful for my family being in town. I just could make it through medical school without them. Just before Halloween, we went out with my little brother to the mall and visited the lego store. It was heaven.

We dressed Miriam up as a pumpkin. Of course.

Our little girl is growing so fast. She likes to play peek-a-boo, read books, wave hello and goodbye, babble at us all the time, point at stuff she wants, stick out her tongue, blow raspberries, clap, play, eat...

And of course, she reached her very first big milestone: ONE YEAR! We celebrated with a lovely birthday with friends and family, Mozart bakery cake, coffee, fun conversations. And she had her first piece of cake :).

We opened presents with her, and Grandma bought her a cuuute coat with a matching beret, which we put on her head, of course. We have been conditioning Miriam to wear hats by putting them on her and then making a big deal out of it: clapping, cheering, etc. So she has come to associate hats with good feelings and consents to leaving it on her head. This was the only way we could teach her to wear hats without ripping them off.

There are so many endless things to be thankful for. My med school buddy had her baby about a month back, and he's a cutie! As my friend put it, if arranged marriages were still the trend right about now is when negotiations would begin...

Oh he's a cutie!

Well there's been a lot of Miriam in here and not a lot of Andrew and Jenny, so I suppose I should put in a few sentences about us. Andrew has applied for grad school in English, and we're hoping he can start this coming spring semester! Med school continues to roll along for me... bringing lots of challenges and fun times with it. Including singing in an acapella group, the Lymph Notes :). We did Time is Running Out by Muse for our incoming MS1's earlier this year, and I finally found the video to share with you! We start out rough but finish all right :).

*Whew* okay well that's all for now :). God bless, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

When I need to be studying, I write a blog post instead.

2010-09-30T08:35:00.000-07:00

I am learning about the retinoblastoma gene, p53, BCR/ABl and Gleevec (Imatinib). Anyone who took Biochem of Cancer will recall these fun cancer friends... ah, how the past comes back haunt oneself.

I ought to be studying, but I am writing this instead :).

I am beginning to feel just a little bit more like a doctor. Just a little bit. I am stuffed full of information that, like clay in a baby's hands, I have no idea how to manipulate it into the right shape to make it do what I want. But I'm figuring it out. Little by little. I am already looking forward to 3rd year, when the "real" work begins. Rotations, sleeplessness, real patients with real problems... yup, I am excited and nervous.

Yesterday when we picked up Baby from my parents' house, guests were over. I was wearing my white coat because I was cold. I realized how strange it was once I walked in. Someone commented that it was cute. It struck me at that moment, however, that my white coat and stethoscope was as much a uniform as a firefighter's trademark helmet and gear. I am a public servant when I wear that coat. My job is to serve the needs of the population, so in that sense I am truly a servant... and the respect that good physcians receive is respect that arises from the public acknowleding our special place in society. To heal the sick, tend to the wounded, repair damage.

I hope I don't forget that any time soon...

Yaaaaaaaaay!

2010-09-27T22:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, but I am in a great mood! Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Andrew made me chocolate chip peanut butter cookies. Or that Miriam is starting to walk around everywhere. Or whatever. Life is awesome.

I am on to my THIRD exam of MS2. We are studying cancer. It's cool, I must say.

Recently I've been thinking that neonatalogy might interest me. Now I also think oncology is interesting, but I don't want to be telling people they have cancer all day :(. But it is a worthy and fascinating field...

Oh choices choices. Really awesome choices, but choices nonetheless.

ZOMG

2010-09-09T21:19:00.001-07:00

I am so behind, I don't want to study.

There is so much material, it feels an impossibility.

Pet Society has become my form of escapism.

Oh. My. Gosh.

Second year is hard.

At least my baby is still cute :).

A New Semester

2010-08-17T11:21:00.000-07:00

Miriam and my sister say hello:

It's a fresh start. I have a new pack of lovely V5 Pilot pens in 0.5 mm, which my uber cool Asian classmate/friend Juhee told me about.

... and that means I'm ready to make color-coded flashcards. Oh yes. Because our first class is pharmacology (i.e. the study of drugs, or put another way, the class in which I will attempt to memorize the mechanism, uses, contraindications and routes of dosage of some 900 drugs, many of which I have reason to believe will no longer be in use, given a decade or so).

Classes have been going on a week. This is week two. So far, I am not behind. Also in other good news, I passed Anatomy this summer. Did I already say that? So it's goodbye to the gastrocnemius muscles and our wonderful gastrointestinal friend, the greater omentum... and hello to Alprostadil and Epoprostenol (prostaglandin analogs that locally act on GPCRs, absolutely contraindicated in pregnancy)!

Miriam is not feeling her best lately. Doctor says she has a minor cold, which makes her stuffy with a very cute, very tiny, very pathos-inspiring little wet cough. At nine months, she is still off the charts in height (30", I believe), and 76% for weight (21 lbs). She is also extremely active! Not a cuddle bug at all. The only times my baby will sit still for you is when she is a) sleepy b) sick or c) scared. I kind of miss the months when all she did was lie on her back and wave her arms at the ceiling. Now she is a constant, restless ball of energy. Apparently, just like me ^_^. She says "uh-oh" and I think she is beginning to pronounce "da-da," and my mom caught her trying to open the back door yesterday. Yikes.

Last week my acappella group, the Lymph Notes, sang Time is Running Out by Muse for the new MS1s. It was fun. Kind of nerve-wracking, but once we got into it, it was awesome. My taste in music has kind of expanded since joining that group. I used to hate Muse, but now I really like this song. It has an awesome base line and a great rhythm. The lyrics are hopeless, however. I generally ignore them in these types of songs, and think of the song as an exercise in rhythm and texture instead :).

The other song that I've become obsessed with is Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. Ever since Glee did that song, I can't stop singing it at random hours of the day. Please DON'T watch Gaga's music videos, however. They are so creepy. I find them fascinating in an artistic sort of way, but they are disturbing.

Rah rah ah ah ah!

Roma, roma ma

Ga - ga - ooh- lala!

What a catchy beginning line! However, I think my dad considers Gaga a bad Madonna wanna-be. Either that or the devil. I don't know. What do you guys think?

Actually, I haven't posted in so long that I wonder if I've lost most of my readers. Anybody out there still reading? (.... affirm me...................). LOL. I just had coffee. Time to go study pharm and micro. Maybe throw some pathology in there too.

OH one more thing! Andrew is starting classes this Thursday! All English literature. He and I will be VERY busy this semester. It's going to be crazy, but I know God is good and He makes things all right. Even when they suck. Which it might for a bit.

*Hugs*

^_^

Yes I'm Alive!

2010-07-12T11:40:00.000-07:00

Contrary to popular belief, I have not given up writing in this blog! Today's post will be short, because I have an exam tomorrow. I am briefly taking a break from studying the head to update y'all on my life.

Miriam got sick for the very first time, and it is soooo sad. She had a high fever and all she wanted to do was be held and cuddle. We were good parents: we took her to the doc, let her sleep in our room again, rocked her to sleep when she woke up fussy, bought her Pedialyte and all that... She is still not 100% but at least her fever is gone! Having a baby sick for the first time is so nerve wracking. My thoughts go out to all parents with ICU babies... oi, that is tough and a terrible thing.

On the upside, I am not entirely ready for this exam, but I just can't bring myself to worry too much. I got a 98% on my last test, so I don't have to do perfect this time around, right? (And THIS is why my grades after a good test always tend to be poor(er))! I am a lazy butt.

Currently I am at Starbux because it is difficult for me to study around a fussy baby--I just want to hold her and comfort her. I also discovered that they have free wifi, finally! Sheesh, it only took forever for this place to catch up with the entire rest of the coffeeshop universe! Who agrees?

I am looking forward to seeing my homies--Katie and Nicole--this weekend, and to having good times talking and maybe shopping. Maybe. Andrew and I took a long hard look at our finances and realized --oops!-- between my birthday and our anniversary we'd spent just a *tad* too much. Well, you gotta be REALLY poor sometime, right? Hahaha... I can't wait until I'm off loan money and making a real paycheck in a steady job. Money matters stress me out.

One last note before I sign off: YOUR FACE IS AMAZING. Seriously. There is more stuff above the neck then there is below it. So many tiny nerves and muscles. I would love to go into more detail but my break time is over. For now, pat your head and tell it "good job." It's pretty cool.

Updates Coming Soon...

2010-06-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

I realize that I have not posted in awhile. Well, life has taken over for a bit (and a little too much Pet Society, too ^_^). I will be putting an update here soon, but until then, wish me luck because my first anatomy test is tomorrow! When it's all over I'll update. It'll be a multimedia feast, so prepare yourselves.

Until then, my dear friends...

Family Update!

2010-06-10T16:11:00.000-07:00

What an AWESOME weekend! First, my anatomy tests came and went, and I did just dandy. I have yet to hear about my actual percentage grade for the lecture portion, but I felt great about it so I know I am only waiting to hear if I made an A or a B.

Second, Andrew planned and successfully executed a SURPRISE birthday party for me with close friends and family from Tulsa and beyond! He gave me a gift card to Ann Taylor so I can finally get a start on my business casual wardrobe (I don't even have a set of pumps yet... ouch)... and then he took me to our favorite BYOB Italian place, where people were waiting to yell Happy Birthday! I was so shocked, I had no idea! I am sure if someone had taken a picture of my face at that moment, it was somewhat blank and sheeplike. Nicole, Katie, my mater and pater, Julia, Jason, Jeremy, Sarah, my sweet mother-in-law Wendy, Matt, Grant (x2), Holly, Kevin, and even Miriam were waiting with gifts and hugs. Miriam gave me a present, too: she threw up all over my shirt when I picked her up ^_^. THANK YOU, MY LOVELY FRIENDS, FOR AN AWESOME BIRTHDAY!

And now for the family update...

PEANUT BUTTA BABY TIME! Miriam is 7 months old, crawling, squealing, being silly, sitting up by herself, being cute in general. She likes to chew on her highchair, and her first tooth just broke out...

My baby, surely her father's daughter, makes none of that angelic baby babble Gerber tries to tell you babies make. Instead, this is what she sounds like...

As she continues to slobber, squawk, and squeal, she is also very much enjoying the borrowed jumperoo from our good friends, Jenn and Adam.

Some eye candy for you...

Here is Miriam showing off Mommy's stack of notes and books from the ENTIRE year. Excepting parts of the bound books, I have read and memorized every scrap of paper in this stack! Yay for med school madness! (Not that any of it stuck past the exam, lol... :P)

Of course I need a shout out to my favorite free facebook game, Pet Society. In honor of seeing WICKED, which was incredible, I dressed up my little character as Elphaba...

But then a spring wedding theme hit the stores, and I had to show off my pet's chic bride look!
Her wedding room... too bad she doesn't have a fiance, though, haha.

My hubby created some delicious dishes these past few weeks. For example. last night he made roasted tomatoes with olive oil and sherry vinegar and a fresh basil, accompanied by crisp apples, a 5 year cheddar, sausage and a fine glass of 2007 Crozes Hermitage red wine. He also makes less gourmet items, such as the following heart-stopping dish below, termed "cowboy chow": baked beans, brisket, grilled corn, sour cream and caramelized onions served nice and hot in a mason jar.

Julia and I have also been busy creating. We are a big fan of decorative bento boxes (Japanese packed lunches), and today for my birthday we set about creating our own boxes. We made these ourselves, with ingredients from around the kitchen :). The following is mine...

And my sister made this one.

Basically, we rock :P. Oh, my sister especially rocks, because I discreetly recorded her practicing. Bear in mind, this is her /practicing/. The polished final product is even better than this clip.

One last fun thing. For my birthday, my AMAZING professional photographer brother-in-law, Jeremy, did a photo shoot for Miriam a while back and gave me the CD as a present! Here is a sneak peak of more to come (I'll upload them on facebook and you'll get to see the rest!)

Whuu... it's summer already!?

2010-05-31T21:33:00.001-07:00

I blinked and suddenly it is June. June is a big month for me. For one thing, I begin anatomy tomorrow. Before you scream and vomit on your keyboard, don't worry: you will never see any horrific anatomy pictures from my lab on this blog, because it is very much illegal. Rest easy, your eyes are safe. June also is the month in which I was born, and the month in which I got married. Two big things right there. And right before June started, MS1 officially ended. How did it all happen to quickly? I think I owe you all a summary of my achievements. Yes, I say achievements, because I thought about this other day, and I am not ashamed to be proud of myself for this past year.

- I had Baby mid-way through and I did not take time off.

- I only took ONE exam two weeks later than scheduled.

- I may not be an A student, but I have no C's.

- I maintained a good relationship with the hubby.

- I found time to play my favorite game, Pet Society. Yes. This is an accomplishment.

- I joined an med student acappella group.

- I'm going to be a volunteer coordinator for a pediatric interest group.

- I made friends at school.

- I breastfed my baby all the way through.

- And Miriam is healthy as a horse with a "perfect" physical exam.

I know there are people out there who would judge me for what I have chosen to do. I am a woman. I am a mother. I am a doctor-in-training. I know people who would tell me that I am doing wrong by my family for my choices. At one point I almost listened to some of those voices. But this year has convinced me that I have orders from Above to do what I am doing. It is my calling and I love it. I've got a brain and I ain't afraid to use it.

That being said, I do know the importance of relationships. Relationships are everything. I cannot pursue my calling without having those good relationships, and I am so blessed in this regard. My wonderful, ridiculous family is available for me all the time. I am currently typing this from their living room because (HA!) we have moved in temporarily. Just until our lease begins on the new apartment. My super-mom is the best daycare a new mother could ask for. Miriam is happy, chubby, well-adjusted, hitting all her milestones, and I'm still her favorite person ^_^. Well, except for Daddy, of course. Speaking of her daddy, Andrew is so completely supportive of me it blows my mind. He knows where my heart is, and that is with him. He also knows that my mind needs exercise, and that it's learning immunological pathways and genetic abnormalities. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, shamelessly: marrying him was the best choice I've ever made. Most important of all, I have a God who loves me, even though I am a very bad child and more often than not I try to ignore Him. He kind of keeps poking at me until I listen up, though. God is good at that.

Well I started out all strong and "I'm gonna pat myself on the back now" but instead I've just blown it and accredited all my "achievements" to other people. Fitting, though. I couldn't have made it without a lot of help. I am at peace with myself and God and I don't have to sacrifice my family while I pursue my calling. That is such a blessing. I am so lucky, I feel like I won the life lottery.

So that is my conclusions about the year. It was difficult, not gonna lie. But soooo worth it.

A Proposal

2010-05-24T08:49:00.000-07:00

To make up for the last post, which was exceedingly depressing, here is a re-post of my engagement story :). It was a great day. Best "yes" of my life.

1 March 2008, Saturday

2:30 p.m. - Chauffeured by Jasper Abbott to Woodward Park in Dr. McConnell's red convertible. Received a bouquet of red roses.
3:00 - Wine and four-cheese picnic with prosciutto ham and two loaves of bread in Woodward Park with apples, grapes, pears, blackberries and three kinds of chocolate for dessert.
4:30 - Dress shopping at White House Black Market in Utica Square (and drinks at Starbucks).
6:20 - Trespassed into Chandler Park, watched the sun set and the stars come out. Wild geese flew by and the city lights sparkled on the river.
7:00 - Singing at a bridge over the river with the water rushing by and a fountain in the background.
8:00ish - Four course meal at the French restaurant, the Brasserie, that was not on the menu. Prepared for us by executive chef Justin Thompson. The meal included: baked crisps with apple and pear chutney, micro greens and a port reduction; sea scallops with white truffle sauce; beef tenderloin entree with baby spinach leaves and russet potatoes and a red wine; chocolate cake with chocolate sauce, glazed chestnuts and espresso ice cream.
10:30abouts - A courtyard outside of the Brasserie, a water fountain, and a box with a ring.
10:31 - YES!
11:00 Celebrated at John Knorr's with lots of friends (everybody knew I was being proposed to!). Matt Matlock played guitar for us :).

***

P.S. Funny note: when Andrew said we were going to go pick out a dress for me, my very first thought was, "THANK GOD I shaved my legs this morning." Truth.

To Vaccinate Or Not...Tis the Question

2010-05-21T20:51:00.001-07:00

*WARNING: GRAPHIC*

We had a lecture on vaccination today. Perhaps when I have more time, I will go into more detail about my opinion of vaccines (especially regarding neonatal immunizations), but today's post is the result of some quick web searching on some of the diseases that we vaccinate against.

Diphtheria: Upper respiratory infection. The throat can swell nearly shut, as shown here. Strikes hard at young children. Chance of death even today is between 5 and 10% of cases. Spreads through the air.

Polio. While only a small percentage of people who contract polio have the very worst kind, the damage to the nerves is irreparable. Polio outbreaks still occur in developed countries, mostly in unvaccinated communities.

Pertussis (Whooping cough): Shown here is a boy with broken eye vessels and bruising to the face from the severity of coughing. Coughing spells are so violent they often cause vomiting or temporary lack of consciousness.

Measles: Roughly a week of itchy, whole-body rashes. Complications can be deadly, especially among young patients. Prior to a vaccine, it was so widespread that almost everyone contracted it at one point.

Tetanus: Potent infection of the nervous system by a bacteria, Clostridium tetani, that lives in the soil nearly everywhere. Infection occurs when the spores enter a deep wound. The bacteria releases a potent toxin that causes muscle spasms that can stop breathing. Morbidity without treatment is 1 in 4. Morbidity with treatment is less than 10%.

Varicella (Chickenpox): Particularly harsh in infants and older people. Chickenpox is often severest, however, in pregnant women. Varicella infection in non-immune, pregnant women can pass to the fetus and cause infection; if the infection occurs during the first 28 weeks, the fetus can develop "fetal varicella syndrome" which can cause underdeveloped fingers and toes, severe anal and bladder malformation, brain and eye damage, and skin lesions. If the infection affects the fetus late in gestation or at delivery, the neonate is at great risk for developing pneumonia or secondary complications.

This infant contracted varicella at birth from the infected mother. The sores became secondarily infected with Staph and child was put on antibiotics and kidney dialysis.

Hepatitis B: A swelling of the liver from a viral infection. Most newborns and 50% of children who contract Hepatitis B develop chronic hepatitis. Chronic hepatitis can lead to risks for liver problems such as liver cancer. Chronic hepatitis patients are also carriers of the disease and may transmit it to other people.

Rotavirus: One of the most common causes of severe diarrhea in young children. Accounts for a huge percentage of hospitalizations for diarrhea in young children.

Haemophilus influenzae type b: A widespread bacteria that lives normally in your body but can take advantage of it when you are weak, say, with a cold. In young children, it was the leading cause of bacterial meningitis, but can also cause many other problems including pneumonia. Children under 5 are at most risk for serious cases.

***

So there you have it. A quick summary of some of the more prominent routine U.S. immunizations. Vaccination these days is a touchy subject. I hope that parents everywhere are doing their research as they make some tough decisions.

Mother's Day

2010-05-08T08:37:00.000-07:00

This is a post by StorytellERdoc, "A Mother's Cry." It's a must read, but have a box of tissues nearby.

A blessed Mother's Day to all of you, whether you are your mom's child or your child's mom.

Oh hey, and happy Mother's Day to me. Lol. Right, I'm a mom now ^_^. Andrew brought me a gorgeous spray of orchids.

Lifelifelifelife!

2010-04-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

I love my life. I really do. Despite the fact that it can be really stressful at times, there are so many wonderful things to be thankful for that so vastly outweigh the bad. Today was a great day.

First it's my dad's birthday! (I will not disclose how old he is.) I woke up early (or to be more precise, Miriam woke me up early; I would have preferred to sleep past 8 a.m.) and ate breakfast with my family. We had worship with some dear friends. Then a veritable multi-cultural feast for lunch. Hummus, pita bread, and tabouli, corned beef with horseradish, home-made sushi, and a cake from a Highland Park cafe that was not kidding around. Everything was fantastic. And, surprise surprise, it all went well together.

My dear Courtney stopped by during church (hehehe) and gave us something that Andrew has been wanting for about a year.

Oh yes. Cointreau liquour. None of your cheap Triple Sec blah. This is the Real Stuff. We are going to make some Kick Ass Margaritas with this.

Andrew is going to be in Tulsa tonight and tomorrow, getting the last of our things from his mom's house and coming down with her truck to help move out our stuff. My mom and dad dropped him off at the train station in the afternoon. While they were gone, Jason and I had a blast. When Miriam woke up from her nap, we took a walk to the park and enjoyed the gorgeous weather, talking to neighbors along the way. It was nice to see people out of their houses. That seems to happen so rarely in Dallas.

So, this is another test week and I should be anxious, but I am too happy to let that dampen my day. Miriam is sound asleep and I am spending the night at my parents since Andrew is gone. It is nice, and I am thankful. Oh, but Jason wants to start charging me rent for his room. Today he gave me this notice of official charges for tenancy:

Yes, the words do not lie. I did do these things. I did leave a dirty diaper on his bookshelf (but it hardly had anything in it, I promise) because I was in a hurry and couldn't find his trash can. I did not make the bed. And I didn't pick up every thing that I /could/ have. In my defense, however, I have spent years of my life changing his diapers, and feeding him when I wanted to play outside, and cleaning up his messes, and putting up with his mischief, and allowing him to scribble on my books, and slobber on my toys, and put stickers where I did not want stickers. So what was my loving response to his demands?

"AS IF!!!"

I confess to feeling little to no obligation to my nine year old brother. Perhaps it is unjust, but I am sure he will find some ingenious way to get back at me in the next few days ^_^.

Super Momma

2010-04-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

The older I get, the more I appreciate and respect my super duper momma. Andrew calls her a tornado of efficiency. The zodiac says she was born in the year of the Tiger. Others find her intimidating for being a stay-at-home mom with a Ph.D. in linguistics. She's taught every grade from kindergarten to graduate students at Dallas Theological Seminary. Personally, I grew up knowing to never cross my mother.

Well, my super mom is doing it again. She's nearing retirement age, but today she has a full house. In addition to me being here with Miriam--I am studying in a back room--she is homeschooling Jason. One of the Raine boys is coming over in 30 minutes for their abacus class. Two adorable Aubin girls (2 and 1 1/2) are also over, playing with legos in the living room while Kara cleans house. I offered to help, but my mother chased me into my study room with a bowl of hot noodles, which she had magically whipped up for lunch while a) feeding Miriam, b) watching two toddlers c) coaching Jason's studies and d) cleaning while she did so. Yes, I kid you not. The kitchen is clean.

How does she do it!? If I become a tenth the woman my mother is, I will be quite impressed with myself.

Thanks

2010-04-12T14:44:00.000-07:00

The weather is nice (despite intolerable pollen counts). The ceiling fan is keeping me cool and I am about to make myself some black tea with cream and sugar. My baby is with her grandma and being entertained by my brother. My wonderful husband is working hard for me today: from 10 a.m. to 8:30 tonight. I am so proud of him. I have a test this Friday that I'm not prepared for, but I know I will be by Friday so I am not worried.

Right now is one of those moments when I am not ashamed to say, that life is so very beautiful and God is so very good to me.

A Date and a Little Dutch Man

2010-04-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

Tonight Andrew and I had the rare opportunity (courtesy of our friend Gio) to listen to the Dallas Symphony Orchestra play. The Meyerson is such a beautiful building, and the DSO is very talented. It was a great date night.

These are quick, sneaky cellphone pix. We were so close to the stage, it was an incredible sound. The conductor was Jaap van Zweden, a short, pudgy and animated man from Amsterdam. I liked watching his jowls jiggle when he was trying to get more oomph out of strings' vibrato.

The first piece, a Schoenberg (Verklarte Nacht, Op4) was delightful: a very unusual "early work," harmonic, thematic and romantic--no twelve-tone crap. The Brahms (2nd Symphony, Op 73) was light and "summery," or so says the playbill, but I'd have to agree. Brahms was in a very good mood when he composed it, that's for sure. All four movements are in major. Apparently, though, he pretended to all his friends that this symphony was going to be super depressing, or as he put it, "I have never written anything so sad...the score must appear with a black border." Ha, ha. Music geek humor.

I think the last time I was at the Meyerson was when Perlman played Paganini, something I will never forget. A good violin is a wonderful thing. A virtuoso violin is simply sublime.

During the intermission we got ourselves drinks (a delicious Kahlua concoction and Grey Goose on the rocks) at the bar. It was nice, being fancy and dressed up with delicious drinks, and wandering around the gorgeous Meyerson foyer and mingling with rich old people. That's not something we do very often these days, due to this little cutie pie:

She is SO big now. She is 25 inches and 18 lbs. What a chunky monkey. Anyway, my schoolwork is behind but it's been a great week. Sometimes you just have to have weeks like that, especially since I have absolutely no summer break ahead of me. I am doing anatomy, like I mentioned before, but I am also going to research, hopefully with an interesting project on traumatic brain injuries and CT scans. Anyway, bye bye summer! That is what I tell myself when I decide to do things like walk around Northpark with my dear friend Courtney and play with the iPad at the Apple store... instead of listen to neuro lectures.

Yup, life is all about balance. And my scales were tipping a bit too much towards school. I definitely rocked the neuro test: 98%, easy cheese.

P.S. One more thing. A pet peeve I have developed over the years. Please, please teen girls, it is not attractive when you take 300 pictures from above and make poofy kiss-me lips as you do so, or serious I'm-so-hot-looks either. It is tacky. The picture that results looks nothing like you (EVERYONE knows that pictures from above are slimming and make your eyes look bigger). Do not stick out your hips as you take said picture, because it looks slutty. Especially don't wear low-cut shirts which only shows the world your lack of cleavage. Please take normal head shots and smile nicely and that is beautiful. Teenage girls, you are beautiful the way most people look at you all the time: eye level.

Unless you are being ironic, of course. Then it's okay. Knock yourself out.

My shirt print says Sprague but it is backwards. A tell-tale sign that this picture was taken with Photobooth.

Good night, friends. Leave comments if you love me. I am feeling blogger-insecurity tonight. Haha, you know what I mean if you blog.

Miriam + Solids = Funny

2010-03-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

A Sad Fact

2010-03-30T12:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took a walk with Miriam around my old neighborhood, but I felt absolutely paranoid. It was only 7 pm, all the neighbors were home and the sun was still quite bright, but somehow I couldn't help looking over my shoulder every now and then, taking a good look at the cars going by, or making sure I noted everything about my surroundings. A sad fact of having been the victim of sexual harassment from strange men several times over, I suppose.

It was even more sad to me, because these were the streets that I, literally, grew up in. I knew every crack in the sidewalk, every tree. I knew most of the people who lived in the houses. I've been up and down the "big hill" so many times I could tell you exactly when to swerve on rollerblades so you don't crash into the houses at the bottom. Even so, when I was trying to enjoy the beautiful weather, my "stranger alert" senses got me so tense that I could only partly pay attention to how gorgeous it was outside.

It is sad how growing up to harsh realities can make simple things like going for a walk less enjoyable.

Some random things to be thankful for

2010-03-25T08:10:00.001-07:00

That I can be at home on a Thursday morning with my baby, listening to her babble.
That home inspections exist and we aren't buying The Money Pit.
That my husband is working hard for his family.
That I am feeling 100% better and have energy again.
That I have a fridge full of food and, most importantly, ice cream.
That my family lives in town and we see them all the time.
That God is good and life is sweet.

House Time

2010-03-21T21:52:00.000-07:00

Our bid was accepted, and now we have the executed contract in hand!

House house house... hope it all works out :).

Old Self: Retrospect

2010-03-19T09:25:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite pastimes when I am sick and bored (like I am today) is to dig up old journals and remember what it was like to be a teen, or a pre-teen, or even younger. My oldest journals date back to when I was in the 2nd grade or so. They are not quite as interesting to read as my teenage diaries, generally being full of sentences like "I got a new Littletst PetShop toy that is so cute and I got toplay so much with it today." I can only take so much of that.

My /teenage/ self, however, is HA-larious. I love her (and detest her, too), mostly because I've changed quite a bit. There are a lot of gems in my diary, but my absolute favorite stuff, of course, is about BOYS. I thought I hated boys, but I still made my list. Here is a diary excerpt because it was just too funny when I uncovered this today. (Editor's note: this is largely unedited. I cut some stuff for the sake of brevity, but all the uppercase crap is original, and so too is the stifling excess of exclamation points).

"Yikes i have WAAAAY to much mushy stuff in here. People reading this later might think that's all I think about! FAAAAR from it. I've taken a vow of abstinence. Or whatever. Nun-like vow. I will NEVER get a date. I will NEVER marry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will be free forever until the day I die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If God forced me to marry, I would have impossible requirements for my husband.

1) Smarter than I am (I am going to medical school so daaaang that dude had better be smart!)

2) at least as good as music as I am--he MUST play the violin as well as play piano!!!!!!! he must BE ABLE TO SING ON KEY!!!!!

3) AT LEAST good looking. i don't think i could stand to have an ugly husband.

4) LOVES children. if he hates children, i hate him.

5) loves animals, loves art

6) likes Japanese food, or at least tolerates different food. i will not have a picky husband!

7) LOVES GOD WITH ALL HIS HEART!

No, check that. I DO NOT WANT A HUSBAND. End of story. Period. Ugh. Mush mush mush mush mush.....................................................bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh."

I love how right after declaring my singlehood for life, I immediately launch into a list of requirements for my lover.

Of course, after writing down something like this, I was the first to get married out of my highschool friends, the first to have a kiddo, and Andrew sings like Kermit with a cold (sorry, sweetie). Funny enough, though, my hubby does fulfill pretty much everything on that list in his own unique way. Like the whole smarts thing. I may know more science than Andrew could ever, would ever, and will ever know, but I know he is so much smarter than me in such a completely different way that there's just no comparison. I do facts, he does philosophy. It's just different.

Well, in conclusion, I think Someone Up There has a good sense of humor :).

There's something about the holidays...

2010-03-15T17:00:00.001-07:00

... that always makes me sick! So it's spring break, and I am in bed, blargh. My wonderful mother is helping take care of Miriam because I can hardly lift the big baby, I am sooo exhausted.

Nonetheless, I have been sleeping all day and I am finally feeling a bit better. And since it is spring break, and I have time, I started thinking about clothes! I got online to look at the Target sales. The other day I was also looking at clothes by Anthropologie. I love their looks (not their price tag), but the fashion in there only makes me a little wistful. I need to update my wardrobe to grad student/professional careerwoman. Bohemian-chic and mainstreamed thrift-store looks should not be creeping into my clothes, sadly. I also have too many pieces that scream I AM IN COLLEGE. (T-shirts with stupid prints and the ubiquitous hoodie). Those have got to go.

Soon I will say goodbye to my super-awesome low-riders with the HUGE holes in the knees (I think my college girlfriends might know what pair of pants I'm talking about). Even my "nicer" pieces that were good enough for TU look pretty shabby now. (Some of my colleagues are AWESOME dressers, I am so jealous of their taste!). I think I need to also start the hunt for some good shoes, not just $10 flats from Wal-Mart.

What happened to the all the hippies? Well I think they all grew up, got jobs, kids, and mortgages. Yup yup yup... adulthood calls to my clothing. I am a mom and a physician-in-training and an adult, and I should probably pay attention to what my clothes are saying. Look the part, yo.

Or....

maybe I just love any excuse to go SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wishes

2010-03-11T09:33:00.001-08:00

Med school is hard enough just to get in to. And once you're there, you start to wonder why... I have my last physiology test tomorrow, and I am somewhat panicked. Hence, I am writing this post as a reminder to myself and a message to all of you as to why I am here, and why I pull my hair out over the glucocorticoids and mineralocorticoids of the zona glomerulosa and zona fasciculata in the adrenal cortex.

Yesterday we got to visit a hospital and see a patient. He was in bad shape. Diabetes, depression, neuropathy, sepsis... all sorts of complications. Plus his job had ditched him during the economic downturn, right before he had to have an amputation of his toes due to a bone infection. As my classmates and I were standing there with our white coats and our clipboards, trying to disguise our nervousness and greenness, it hit me:

Wow. We don't know this man, and yet because we wear the white coat he permits us to ask him all sorts of probing questions (any drug use? alcohol? how is your stool? past illnesses? vomiting or diarrhea? sexual history?). He lets us enter into some very private areas of his life to better treat him. He lets us poke, prod, medicate, amputate, hospitalize (Well, not us, but physicians in general. You get the idea).

A physician is in a place of great power when dealing with very sick people like that. It really hit me that this hefty, tattooed, Harley-riding man allowed physicians to /remove part of his body/ because he trusted them. Patients hope and expect that we will treat them well, and with care. That's a lot of responsibility, and that's also a great privilege.

I've always wanted to be a doctor. I think a love of science and academic challenge, plus natural curiosity and an inescapable interest in people (despite my somewhat introverted tendencies) led me to the field of medicine. This is SO cliche that my premed academic advisor insisted I never, ever, ever dare write it in my personal statement, but I'm going to say it here:

I'M BECOMING A DOCTOR BECAUSE I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE SO THERE.

Let's play a game!

2010-03-09T21:24:00.000-08:00

What life decision is characterized by the following?

- An emotional roller-coaster to rival some serious PMS

- Snooping around stranger's back yards

- A sudden interest in closet dimensions

- Gardening daydreams

- Frantic budgeting

- An urge to get a furry pet

- Longs hours looking wistfully at sparkling designer kitchens in magazines

- A deluge of paperwork written entirely in Legal Jargon (a strange and paranoid dialect of English)

Have you guessed yet? Yes, that's right: First time home-buying! We put in a bid for a house today :). I hope it goes well!

But in the event that it doesn't, and we don't get a house, Andrew and I promised each other we'd get nice new computers :).

And that makes it a win win win WIN situation to me!

Two sick puppies and a wiggle worm

2010-02-27T18:04:00.000-08:00

Andrew and I are the sick puppies. He has some strange stomach flu and I think I have a sinus thing from my week of terrible allergies. And of course, Miriam is the wiggle worm. She's reached an interesting stage where she can't move yet (roll over or otherwise), but I think she really wants to. So she just wiggles a lot and gets a bit frustrated.

On the subject of medical school, I was really nervous about the cell bio test that I just took on Friday, but I pulled off the lab practical portion: 100%! My very first med school exam ACED. I studied hard for this exam. I now can tell you all about your testicular tissue (should you happen to have any, which I sincerely hope you don't if you happen to be female). And I have an intimate relationship with the retinal layers of the eye. It is beautiful. Trust me, it just is. Simply magnificent. These are your retinal layers below:

The whole eye is such a delicate, well ordered structure. I think it is my favorite of all the tissues we looked at.

You know about "rods and cones"? You are looking at them! This is a close-up of the picture above. Amazing. Well, maybe I am just geeking out about it because I've been staring at tissues under a microscope every day for two months, haha. But if just one person who reads this can come to appreciate the beauty of the retina, then I will have done my duty! APPRECIATE YOUR RETINAS. THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL THINGS. IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY, YOU COULDN'T READ THIS POST.

Okay, enough about retinas. Moving on: I swear Miriam knows how to make herself cuter. I don't know how she does it, but whenever she really wants to picked up, and I happen to look her way in her chair/crib/playmat, she will squirm and grin and open her eyes wide and make little plaintive, happy noises while pedaling her chubby feet. Simply adorable. I can't resist! Manipulative little babies, why are they so cute!?

Andrew's first training shift at Urban Dog the coffeeshop is on Monday. I am jealous. I miss being a barista! Free coffee, friendly people, laid-back, skinny-jeaned co-workers with tattoes and interesting haircuts. Why did I leave? Oh yeah... the teeny-tiny paycheck. Right. Can't make a career out of it, otherwise I'd love a job where you get paid to drink coffee, make coffee, and hand out coffee to other people!

Well, Miriam is calling for me. Must go!

Oh Happy Day

2010-02-16T15:53:00.001-08:00

Saturdays are nice. At 11:30 a.m. I was still in my PJ's, in bed, talking to my baby who was babbling back at me. At noon I was taking a nice hot shower. At 1:30 p.m. I ate "breakfast" and cleaned. The rest of the day alternated between playing with baby and listening to physiology lectures.

That night we had a game night with some new friends: Jenn and Adam (Jenn is a classmate of mine), and Prisca and Colin (Prisca knows Andrew from way back). We played Scrabble and ate delicious food prepared by Jenn and Adam. We all enjoyed cheese from Andrew's work. It was fun, and I felt very married in a good way. And I must say, for a group of lawyers and doctors-in-training, the conversation was low-key and casual :). Altogether a very pleasant way to spend Saturday.

Last week's Saturday was also excellent. Andrew will be hard-pressed to top future V-days.

Now I readily acknowledge that Valentine's is hokey at best. But no matter what I say to the contrary, in my heart of hearts IT DOES MATTER. Andrew found this out the hard way when we first started dating. I said I didn't care about V-day, he believed me, and it was disastrous. Ever since, Andrew has been careful to take that opportunity to show me just how much he loves me.

So on Saturday, Andrew surprised me by calling on his way home from work and instructing me to pack up because we were going out. The next thing I knew, we were on the road in my mom's minivan with Miriam, a box of chocolate figs, toothbrushes and dress clothes.

???

I finally figured out that we were going to Tulsa when Andrew got on 75 North. He drove me ALL the way to Tulsa for a Sunday dinner on a double V-day date with Asher and Leslie! We ate at the French restaurant where we were engaged :). What a hubby. We stayed until Monday and saw lots of friends, and we miss them all already. Those of you whom we didn't get to see, know that you are missed, too!

This week is a test week. I'm not feeling too bad about it yet, though, because I am almost done with Tuesday's lab already. So I basically have all week to thoroughly review, which is good because I need a good grade. Hehe...

Well this turned out to be a longer post than I had expected. What's my conclusion?

LIFE IS GOOD!

We have some exciting possibilities up ahead

2010-02-09T18:14:00.001-08:00

Here's a hint.

Anyway, hanging with "the boys" was great. A weekend of movie-watching, chocolate ice cream, brandy cubans, butternut squash soup, and chillin' out. Matlock and Jasper, thanks for visiting :).

Physiology is over, and I did just fine. I played way too many facebook games over the weekend. I have committed myself to five so far. Pet Society, Cafe World, Restaurant City, PetVille, Farmville. I know, I know: that's five too many fb games to be playing. I ought to be a grown-up. I have real things to do. But they are sooo cute!

I live!

2010-02-05T18:33:00.000-08:00

It has been a difficult two weeks, but I am happy to report that I survived. I passed embryology, which is great considering that I crammed for it the night before. I also scraped by in cell biology, again, thankful for that. And then today's physiology test went quite well, as far as I can tell. I'm pretty sure I got an acceptable grade. I'm not shooting for perfection. B's are nice.

Miriam is a happy, gurgling baby. She was the most distracting thing during my studies last week. What is a mom to do when her chubby little baby flashes a great, big gummy smile and coos at her from her bouncy chair? Pick her up and cuddle her, of course!

I thank the Good Lord for the glorious work of His hands: i.e., Miriam is totally sleeping through the night! She sleeps nine hours at night like clockwork. Couldn't ask for more. Shouldn't ask for more, really.

So, Andrew's friends, Matt and Jasper, will be here in a few hours. I'm looking forward to good times, and to some serious relaxing this weekend.

Motherhood + medical school is some serious work, y'all.

Because it's beautiful

2010-01-27T20:25:00.001-08:00

Despite the stress of things (/ahem/ cell bio exam on Friday, embryology on Saturday, physio next Friday), I want to take time to enjoy life's little graces: Andrew's good home cookin' and my baby.

Andrew made the most amazing burgers. You have to watch the video to appreciate the unhealthiness of this burger, but here are the ingredients: hand-shaped, home-made French bread, home-made Bearnaise sauce (egg yolk, tarragon vinegar, white wine, lots of butter, shallot, salt, pepper), good cheese, over-easy egg, home-made burger patties, and lots of work.

Aren't those little buns cute? Andrew cut the slits in the top just for the effect.

He's a good hubby, he is. Taking care of Miriam and supporting his crazy wife, who's galavanting about the UTSW campus, pursuing the career she's dreamed of since she was four. Check out his sweet Scottish-themed apron, a gift from his mom for Christmas.

It's actually extremely awesome, not just because it's a kilt-apron, but it actually prevent him from wiping his greasy hands on his shirts, which he does even when a hand towel is at his fingertips. Men.

And in other exciting news, Miriam is holding up her head!!

;

P.S. Humor. That's good too. For example, just now:

Me (bedroom): "Andrew, what's that strange noise?"

Andrew (playing the guitar, living room): "What?"

Me: "What was that noise?"

Andrew: "What noise?"

Me: "I don't know, it was weird. It sounded like Kermit the frog."

Andrew: "............................................ that was me singing."

Me: "HAHAHAHAHA!"

Hello World...

2010-01-26T20:27:00.000-08:00

I am stressed out!
May the panic begin.
All you premeddies out there...
You might want to think twice.
Or thrice.
Do you realllllly want to be a doctor?
Then prepare yourself...

FOR CELL BIO HELL!!!

Amazing Noodles

2010-01-19T20:40:00.000-08:00

I am writing this post mainly because I am bored out of my MIND by my current physiology topic.

Yay for lungs. They are quite complicated, actually. Lots of basic physics. The thing is, I hate physics, even PV=nRT... so this is no fun. Not at all. Nope, not even an eensy bit.

So I leaped at the chance to blog about my dinner :). Andrew and I made home-made dumplings (the pot-sticker type) with a delicious garlic and shrimp and cilantro filling. Andrew made the dough himself, and then we painstakingly flattened the dough into circles and filled the centers with the shrimp stuff. We thought we were pretty awesome, until I found this video.

Amazing. Must be voodoo. In any case, our dumplings were delicious. Although now I wish I had mad pasta skills.

56 Days Later...

2010-01-16T15:36:00.000-08:00

Miriam is 2 months old! She is:

a) Very Fat.

b) Very Cute.

c) Sleeping 6 - 8 hours a night.

d) Starting to gurgle/laugh.

e) My very favorite little baby!

No Use Crying Over Spilt Wine

2010-01-13T17:36:00.001-08:00

Sometimes in life, things happen. Babies poop over everything in a 3-foot radius. Chicken soup spoils because it was left outside overnight. And wine bottles break when the paper bag handle snaps.

Miriam DID poop over EVERYTHING. I thought she'd finished her explosive expulsion of fecal matter, but as soon as I opened her diaper she proved me utterly wrong. A solid jet of mustard-colored, seedy baby poo shot straight out from her bum, neatly bypassing her crib slats and staining the grown-up bed beyond. Nice.

I also left out a container of delicious chicken soup with homemade stock and hand-made pesto egg noodles last night. No bueno.

And as I was just about to set down the bag of groceries with tonight's wine in it, the handle snapped and the bottle broke on my toe, which is now bruised and unhappy.

But, everything above ended with a laugh, so life is good. As my undergrad chemistry advisor's door sign read: "When life pisses in your pool, add chlorine and keep swimming."

So we rescued some of the wine pooled in the bottom of the bag with whatever scooping device was handy. We got the last little bit by lifting up the bag and letting the wine filter through into the measuring cup.

It's a Spanish red wine by the way... with a slight hint of paper bag!

Family and Fat Babies

2009-12-23T09:44:00.000-08:00

Miriam is starting to smile more often!

Haha--she is so fat. My family calls her "butachan." That means little piggy in Japanese :). It is incredible how fast babies grow. She is also /almost/ sleeping through the night. Last night she slept from 9:30 pm to 3 a.m., nursed, then fell right back to sleep until 8 in the morning. I feel awesome.

The holidays make me appreciate family so much. I had strep throat on Saturday, so from Saturday til yesterday I stayed at my parents' house and Mom took care of Miriam. It was really nice, hanging out with the siblings and having good discussions with my dad. And of course, enjoying authentic Japanese food. In just two days we'll be enjoying the holidays our Tulsa family. I am stoked. Unfortunately, I have to study physiology the whole time because my exam is on Monday the 4th. Crazy. Why did I sign up for this med school thing again!? Hahaha... Well, I know my family will get me through it.

Merry Christmas, all! Have a blessed holiday...

CHRISTMAS...

2009-12-19T10:41:00.000-08:00

...is next week! How have the holidays come upon us so quickly!? Tulsa homedawgs, I can't WAIT to see y'all! We will be driving up on Christmas Day and staying through January 3rd. Now for some eye candy...

Chunky monkey!

Look at those cheeks!

Family Foto

Happy Times and Happy Birthday

2009-12-10T16:21:00.000-08:00

Today is Andrew's 24th birthday! We are dropping off Miriam at my parents' place tonight and going out to Aboca's Italian Grill. We love this restaurant. It's small, authentic, family-run, and it's freaking BYOB.

This week has been great. No, let me rephrase that. This week has been AWESOME. I think it's making up for the crappy first few weeks.

We took Miriam out a second time to--go figure--another coffeeshop. This one is called Crooked Tree and is very close to our apartment as well. What's more, it has an awesome atmosphere: it's located in a house! Or, at least, what used to be a house. The street the shop is located on is full of businesses located in adorable remodeled houses. I would totally live there.

I studied and Andrew reviewed his novel (he finished a first draft right before baby was born, and now that things are settling into kind of a routine, he is working on revisions). Miriam slept as pictured above :).

Last night was similarly fun. We accidentally took a 3-hour nap in the middle of the day, so we stayed up late that evening and ushered in Andrew's day of birth by watching four straight hours of the first season of Heroes (available on Netflix!). Miriam was fussy and wanting to be held and nursed until 2 a.m. anyway. I fell in love with Hiro, the adorable Japanese geek who can bend the space-time continuum. He is also the most realistic character in the show, HA.

When Miriam finally went to bed, she slept for over 5 hours. Almost 6. I woke up when she cried at 8:30 a.m. and my first thought was, hey, why do I feel so awesome? Then I looked at the clock and was very happy. There is a huge difference between 4 hours and 5.5 hours of sleep. I don't know why, but it is simply magical.

Miriam is beginning to make cute little gurgling "Hey I'm awake" sounds, so I will wrap this up with some pictures of our 3.5 week old, 9 lb, 11 oz turd factory.

I think babies stretching are so cute. So is M's hair--it sticks straight up after a bath.

Miriam, drunk with milk.

Hey! Watsup? I'm awake!

The Skinny Jeans are Back

2009-12-04T13:38:00.000-08:00

Miriam is almost 3 weeks old. We made it past the painful first two weeks of breastfeeding. We weathered her waking up every hour the first few nights at home. We survived mastitis and Andrew's stomach flu. Now, she's gaining weight well. (8 lbs, 11 oz as of Thursday!) She had her first outing to a coffeeshop. (She slept in her carrier the whole time, but it was a step :). I discovered I can nurse her in one arm and take physiology notes with the other.

And... the skinny jeans fit again :).

Hell yes.

Thanksgiving Week: Trials and Tribulations

2009-11-29T16:26:00.001-08:00

I love Thanksgiving. I love cranberry sauce and turkey and family and warm houses and cozy couches and hugs and lots and lots of pie. I was looking forward to Thanksgiving for quite some time. Unfortunately, I have to report, this Thanksgiving Week was quite a trial.

I was recovering well and feeling good on Monday and Tuesday. I studied, took care of Miriam, cleaned, was a happy, bustling momma. Wednesday, however, I got a case of cabin fever and decided to go outside, downstairs, to clean out the car. The weather was gorgeous but the car was mildewy from the other week when Andrew left the sun roof down and then Dallas decided to rain all that night. I cleaned and thought happy sunshine thoughts, left the car windows open and picked up the random trash on the floor and took out the infant car seat with the intent to put Miriam in it and take her up to the room for some sunshine.

I returned to the apartment and promptly passed out.

After that, I felt so miserable and weak I couldn't stop crying (hormones didn't help). Andrew was home and took care of me. We decided that he would stay up that night to feed Miriam with expressed milk and a bottle, and I would get a full nights' sleep. The next day I woke up feeling a little better, but after I took a shower and dressed, I dove back in bed and had the worst aches and chills. By the time my mother-in-law arrived from Tulsa, I had a fever of 103 and I cried nonstop for an hour. It was pretty clear that I had a breast infection, and my mom-in-law was able to call in a prescription for an antibiotic for me (she's a physician).

So, instead of a joint McConnell and Hironaga Thanksgiving as planned, we ate at our separate places. When my fever went down some that evening, Andrew and I went over to my parents' so he could go to work and my parents could take care of me. I developed some sort of itchy rash that was either a reaction to the amoxicillin I was taking, or a heat rash... either way my mother-in-law didn't take any chances, and switched me to another antibiotic. Friday I was still pretty sick, but just as I started to feel better on Saturday, Andrew took a turn for the worse.

He left for work that morning, but by noon-ish he called and said he was heading back to the apartment because he'd thrown up five times at work. He had a stomach bug and didn't want to infect me or baby, so the past few nights he's been alone in the apartment. Tomorrow we'll be reunited, but I HATE being away from my hubby. I'm a wimp, I confess. So last night I cried myself to sleep yet again.

Now my little brother has the stomach bug, too, so Miriam and I will evacuate to my place tomorrow. Poor little dude is puking up a storm :(. Not even pie can tempt him. My mom set up a gigantic (and I mean GIGANTIC) thing of hand sanitizer in the middle of the hallway so that anyone who touches Jason can sanitize their hands before touching anything else in the house. Germs abound!

Despite the trials, there are things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Family. For sure. I don't know how we would have survived this week if my family weren't in town to care for us, and if Andrew's wonderful mother wasn't around to provide medical relief. (We actually called my OB clinic, and the doc on call told me to go to the ER for evaluation!! Why would a sick, nursing mom who obviously has a breast infection want to wait for hours and hours in an ER and expose herself to all kinds of infections??)

I am also grateful that through all this, Miriam is still healthy. She has diarrhea from my antibiotics, poor thing, but she should be fine otherwise. She sleeps well and feeds well and isn't spitting up or inordinately fussy, so that is a lot of things to be thankful for right there.

My dad just brought me a slice of a fresh cranberry and pear pie my mother made. He also brought a cup of tea and whipped cream for the pie. I'm going to eat this, relax, and enjoy a few hours of quiet, because Baby is sound asleep with a full belly and clean diaper.

It's been a crazy first few weeks of parenting! But all Miriam has to do is smile in her sleep and I know it's all worth it. As always, Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Waiting for Baby

2009-11-13T15:38:00.000-08:00

Andrew and I are anxiously awaiting Miriam's arrival, as most of you know by now. Only, in true McConnell style, she is being lazy. If she doesn't arrive naturally by Sunday, we are scheduled for inducement on Monday. So most likely, we will have a baby by Monday or early early Tuesday, depending on how things go. So for those of you who are miffed because you haven't received baby pictures or announcements yet, fear not! You are not forgotten.

Meanwhile, we have been enjoying the past few days. We went to a craft store and picked up goodies for Christmas and modeled this stylish wreath hats.

Just spreading some Christmas cheer! And here is Andrew with a sad, sad stalk of celery. By the way, we did eat it :).

And here is Haidee and I at Vanida's wedding last week.

Can't wait for the baby! Or for Christmas!

The next time I post, we'll probably be parents ^_^.

Baby is Due and Genetics is Pwned

2009-11-08T14:32:00.000-08:00

Today is the official day. Today is the day Miriam is due!! I've been having good, strong contractions. Not the "real thing" yet, but Miriam will be here by next Sunday at the latest, because at that point they'll induce. I'll try to post something on facebook before we hit the hospital, but no guarantees. I am so excited!

In other awesome news, I owned the Genetics mini-exam that I took Friday. Despite having contractions the whole time, I am pleased to report I kicked its ass.

"Dear Jenny,

We've scored the MiniTest you took on Friday, November 6.

You scored 19 points out of 20 (95%)."

4 hours of sleep, 9 months pregnant, contracting heavily and two days from my due date. Not bad, not bad.

Pipe Tobacco and Baby Loot

2009-11-06T22:26:00.000-08:00

Here we are at Urban Dog. I was studying for Genetics (I took the midterm today, and despite only having 4.5 hours of sleep due to a false alarm this morning, I think I did just fine).

Andrew smoked a pipe after a fruitful trip to a completely awesome pipe shop downtown called Up In Smoke. I managed to capture the smoke coming out of his pipe as he lit it. Coffee and pipe tobacco: two of my favorite smells.

Here I am putting on my game face. I am tired and ready to pop out a baby, but I must study study study!

And here are some pictures of the cute baby stuff after this evening's baby shower, kindly hosted by the neighborhood ladies with whom I grew up.

I am blessed to be surrounded by such generous people :).

BOO

2009-11-05T07:15:00.000-08:00

Well, the OB told us today that I am not dilated AT ALL. Looks like Baby will likely be overstaying her welcome in Hotel Uterus. Oh well. However disappointed I am, this could work out for the best. I have a Genetics midterm tomorrow and the final a week after. If things work out right, I might be able to finish up this block before Baby comes, and then relax for a bit because my next big exam (Physiology) won't be until mid-December.

Speaking of December, I am already stoked for Christmas. Target has put up snowflakes and Christmas items on display. I think they accomplished this, like, midnight on Oct. 31st. So the Christmas materialism begins, and this year I find myself a willing participant. I have gift ideas and crafty urges and decorating desires at random hours of the day. Yikes! Maybe that is the hidden housewife in me coming out.

Oh well. All of this must wait until the midterm tomorrow. Ribbons, giftwrap, and chocolates must wait until I can properly deduce the viable and inviable gametes of a 45, XY, der(14;21)(q10;q10) Robertsonian translocation carrier, and what fraction of all conceptuses have risk of trisomy 21q.

The Pros and Cons of Pregnancy

2009-10-31T22:01:00.000-07:00

After nine months of intensive research, I hereby present my very own pros and cons list of being pregnant.

CONS

No drinking. (I miss margaritas.)
Really tiny bladder.
Can't clip my own toenails.

PROS:

Eating ANYTHING I WANT, and lots of it.
Doing absolutely nothing and not feeling guilty about it.
Making my husband do chores (Have YOU made a liver today? Hmm? No? Thought so. THAT'S why YOU get to do the dishes).
People carry things for me.
Doors get opened very quickly.
Being pampered by society in general.
Foot and back massages all the time.
Sleeping ten hours a night is a necessity, not an indulgence.
Extra ice cream "for the baby."
Attack of the motherly fuzzies when I see something cute.
Going up two cup sizes (FEELING HOTT!).
Automatic admittance to the Ministry of Silly Walks (I waddle).
Collecting adorable baby items and squealing over each one.
Feeling Baby move.
Realizing that my body can effin' MAKE A PERSON.
Starting a family unit :).

P.S. Happy Halloween!

I have a white coat and a big tummy

2009-10-24T16:06:00.001-07:00

Saturday I walked across a stage to receive a white coat.

Balla!

Thanks All Around

2009-10-20T20:43:00.001-07:00

So several people have given us gifts, and it seems like just the right excuse to put up some pictures!

The little pink outfit below is ADORABLE. It has matching capris (not pictured). I can't wait to dress up Miriam in it!

Here are some lovely purple/green themed onesies!

And here is a fabulous cloth bag with lots of room, packed with baby things (outfit, blanket, extra diapers...) and ready for the hospital :).

Avis, Jenny & Spencer, Haidee: thanks you guys!

I also did some decorating with origami. I made a few pieces and strung them on the lamp.

I also found a cute pattern for an origami butterfly and made a few of those for the wall behind the crib, which looked so dull I had to do something about it.

And here is a picture of Baby's Corner in its full glory. The crib has random baby stuff in it right now.

I am so excited! Miriam is due in 3 weeks!

We are strange birds

2009-10-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

I had my last biochem exam on Friday, and I am happy to report that I passed, and passed well!! I now have a full week to rest and recover and prepare for BABY. Our OB appointment on Thursday was short and sweet. Other than twinges of pain in my lower half and a rapidly burgeoning belly, I'm in great shape and SO ready to have this baby OUT.

Last week our car started making strange noises and was getting very difficult to steer. We figured out that the power steering fluid is low, so our cheap ($4.32 cheap) fix was to buy some fluid and fill 'er up, but since then we have determined that we have a leak. Boo. That means mechanics, and that means $$. Maybe we will just keep buying power steering fluid and refilling as needed. Ha... so ghetto. But seriously. I'm considering it.

Friday afternoon, Jasper came to visit! He stayed the whole weekend and it was awesome. My mom's bday was Saturday, so this weekend was busy. I bought her a bunch of stackable mugs because she's been complaining for years about the random assortment of unstackable, unmatching coffee cups in her cupboard. I suspect that the old mugs will eventually end up in my cupboard.

Sunday was good fellowship at my parents' house and a great discussion on the nature of the church. Afterwards, Andrew, me and Jasper had delicious bar food at the Idle Rich Pub, and then spent the rest of the afternoon drinking copious amounts of coffee to try to defeat the Sunday morning sleepies.

Today was my first day of what feels like fall break. I watched The Office and /finally/ finished my wedding album and got a start on my baby book. Here are some pictures from the engagement section of the wedding album :).

I attempted to clean and was halfway successful, ate way too much ice cream and peanut butter, and then in the afternoon read the good book at Urban Dog with Andrew. I also attempted some photo documentation of our enjoyable time.

Me: "Try to take a normal picture."

Andrew: "Okay."

*click click*

He is such a turd.

There it is... that hint of insanity in his eyes.

He is not the most amenable picture-taker.

His coffee and my tea make better subjects. I only wish I didn't have a craptastic camera that EATS batteries. Well, time to go watch Jim and Pam finally figure out that they are destined for one another :P.

Not gonna lie: being pregnant and in medical school as actually made it far more relaxing than I ever would have expected! I suppose I'll pay dearly for it once the little one arrives, hahaha.

Poor, Hungry, and Happy

2009-10-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

You know it's time to shop when your fridge contents run something along the lines of:

1 frozen chicken

1 bottle of Diet Coke

1 package of brussels sprouts

1/2 raw onion

This was the result of us trying not to shop this week due to unexpected expenses and a tight budget :). The past two days have proven to be interesting meals. Yesterday we made a catch-all vegetable cream soup (leftover broccoli, carrots, onion, cream and sour cream... it was actually delicious) and complemented that with a package of pesto from my parents and stale tortilla chips.

Today was, well, scavenger day. While Andrew was at work, my ravenous appetite led me to scour the pantry and fridge for absolutely anything. I took a nibble at some old protein bars and made soup out of a can of pumpkin from Thanksgiving. I ate several bowls of cereal, had some glasses of chocolate milk with old Nesquik powder, ate copious amounts of my pumpkin soup and several pieces of toast. When Andrew came home after having worked 9 hours on nothing but a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast, he was ravenous. We had more pumpkin soup and tortilla chips, plus the last of the fresh tomatoes with salt. I found an avocado and we also had some leftover pulled pork, so we put that bread.

It reminded me of another time we ran out of food... I think dinner was canned tuna on pieces of dried seaweed. Not our best culinary moment, for sure :). But we made it through the week, and now our pantry is cleared of everything but spices and flours, and our fridge is cleaned out and ready for a new month, a new budget, and grocery shopping tomorrow.

Yay! Ridiculous experiences are awesome, and so is being married to your best friend.

Frozen chicken, anyone? Yum yum yum.

Just a Day in the Life...

2009-09-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

A few things of great interest happened today.

a) I experienced nesting syndrome.

b) I had the first of my weekly OB appointments.

c) We signed Andrew up for the GRE in early December.

d) I performed surgery on myself.

e) I witnessed Andrew studying math for a whole hour.

After our 8 a.m. appointment with the OB this morning, I came home and had the frantic desire to pack my hospital bag, organize Baby Miriam's clothes, and clean out the plastic drawers by my desk. Nesting syndrome, yup. I packed and re-packed the hospital bag about three times, all the while wishing I were packing a cute Vera Bradley bag and not my dumb Walmart backpack from undergrad days...

I love these two patterns, but those darn bags are SO expensive.

As to the surgery, my left toe has been sporting a red, painful sore on the edge of my nail for the past two weeks. My initial diagnosis of an ingrown toenail was confirmed when I asked my OB about it this morning. He made a big point out of the fact that he wasn't a podiatrist and that he specialized in babies (doi!) and that I should make an appointment with my general practitioner, but then he mentioned on the side that I could probably go at it myself with a pair of scissors. Can you guess what I did next, when I got home? Don't worry, I won't describe it. Suffice to say, I sterilized my instruments (nail clippers and tweezers), cleaned my foot, and had an immensely successful operation and the patient looks fabulous post-op (read: my toe doesn't hurt anymore!) Perhaps this will prove to be a jump start to a long and successful career.

The final exciting item of the day is that Andrew is officially signed up for the GRE! I suppose that means grad school is becoming a real possibility for him. He also spent an hour studying math, which was a strange sight to me and somehow quite endearing. I tried to help him with some of the problems, but, sad to say, my algebra skills are sorely lacking after years of non-use. I barely even remembered the Pythagorean Theorem. Pathetic.

So that was just another day in our strange life. A lot more happened, actually. I skipped class, Andrew and I hung out at Urban Dog for four hours, I reached a new level in Farmville, made a fabulous asparagus cream soup, learned that gastric bypass can lead to clinical depression, and read about a morbidly obese woman who lay on a couch for so long she fused to it and that's where she died...

Yup. Today's been interesting!

Hey, epiphany!

2009-09-27T21:32:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy and caught up with medical school and pregnancy that I realized I haven't given too much thought into a very important fact:

I am about to become a mother.

$%#$!!

Strange that I could be so focused on being pregnant. Pregnancy, after all, is only the 9-month prelude to a lifetime commitment, a fact that I still see played out in front of me every time Andrew and I visit my parents' house and my mom conjures up delicious food out of a seemingly empty fridge.

22 seems a bit young to be embarking on this journey... Perhaps I can take comfort in the fact that I have a slightly better chance of maybe being the sorta kinda cool hip young mom, even to my own kiddos. I will be barely into my 40's by the time Miriam is my age.

A number of people have told me the same basic message about parenting: parents become parents when they become parents. A poorly constructed tautology, perhaps, but I agree with them. It all probably won't hit home until she is born, and then it will hit with a vengeance. A cute, cuddly, adorable vengeance :).

The Doctor is In

2009-09-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

My stethoscope came this week!! I chose a 3M Littmann Cardiology III in a plum color.

The next thing I need to do is find myself a good diagnostic kit. I might also invest in a blood pressure cuff so I can practice on family members.

Somehow, obtaining my first piece of medical equipment makes me feel just a little more legit. I'm sure my classmates will agree. We also get our white coats during our white coat ceremony in mid-October. I suppose that will help us feel a little more like doctors in training, and less like biochem/anatomy slaves.

My next OB appointment is next week, and I realized I need to get on the ball about finding a pediatrician and pre-registering for maternity stay at the hospital! I am drawing up a list of questions to ask on my next visit.

Meanwhile, tonight is Jason's pre-birthday party! He turns nine tomorrow (time sure flies) and he requested a sushi party for dinner. SCORE. Nice to have a little brother with good taste. Andrew is going to pick up a present (Legos, per request) tonight and we are going to wrap it in a comically over-sized package.

So, in preparation for tonight, it is time to study.

Babies are Miracles

2009-09-23T15:46:00.000-07:00

So I just bought my Developmental Embryology course syllabus today from the bookstore. I flipped through it, and I am already amazed at how much work it takes to make a baby! So many things can go wrong: the slightest mistakes can cause babies to be born with exposed brains... missing jaws... clubbed appendages...

By some estimates, the total first trimester natural abortion rate is 25 - 30%(!). That means in normal women, up to 30% of their pregnancies are spontaneously aborted by the body within the first trimester (read: something went wrong with the fertilized egg). The women probably never even realize it. A good sign of a spontaneous abortion that early is bleeding, which can easily be mistaken for a period.

The point is: the birth of a healthy, red, screaming baby is, quite simply, a miracle.

Tomorrow's Only a Day Away...!

2009-09-17T14:28:00.000-07:00

Here I am with my flashcard sandwich.

It is delicious, I'm telling you. Lots of yummy amino acids and metabolic diseases and hemoglobinopathies and myosin heads.

EXAM TIME.

(I've never made so many flashcards in my life...)

Engrish, Anyone?

2009-09-15T20:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you've been studying, every day, for nearly 8 hours a day, you need to take a break. You need to soothe your fraying nerves. Relax. Rest. Rehabilitate. Contemplate. Meditate.

AND PLAY FARMVILLE!

I love my little farm. It makes me happy. I think FarmVille is the best facebook game I have yet to come across, especially for people like me. My favorite games (the only ones I've really played extensively) are Pikmin, Animal Crossing, Harvest Moon... and World of Warcraft (shhhhh, don't tell...). Anyway, they all involve playing at your own pace and exploring a world/developing your character. FarmVille is about farming. That's it. You plant seeds, they grow, you harvest them. You decorate your farm as a mode of self-expression. You collect things from the animals you acquire. Love it.

The OTHER thing you can do to de-stress before a big test (coming up on Friday!) is celebrate your cultural heritage. For me, that means www.engrish.com. Hehehe. Here are few of my favorites:

This must be where the Grinch lives

Only the Japanese.

A few hilarious menu items:

Yes I WOULD like a side of greed with my wish

For the health nuts

Hahahahaha

Dericious!

Can't say I didn't ask for it!

2009-09-12T20:07:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture:

What you see in the picture:

My face. Specifically, how I feel after studying non-stop since 9:30 a.m. on a Saturday (and it's 10:00 p.m. and I'm still at it!)
Something awful I need to memorize. Color-coded with key molecules boxed and given a "shadow" effect. Doesn't it make it any easier, just more aesthetically appealing.

I need Dory, the little blue fish from Pixar's Finding Nemo, to sing me a song. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...!" That's why I think this picture is a metaphor for medical school.

Professor Dory: Don't worry! Relax! You'll do great! You will all become doctors despite yourselves! Just keep swimming!

The Exam: ...I am hungry...

The Medical Student: help.

There are lots of things I don't understand

2009-09-10T20:16:00.001-07:00

...like the following news clip from lecture yesterday:

Similarly, I don't understand why someone would waste that much meat (and eight hours) to create a scale model of an AK-47 OUT OF BACON.

Yes, that is "real," but I don't think I would throw up the white flag if someone tried to hold me up with it. I might, however, attempt an experimental nibble at the end in an impulsive fit of the preggo munchies.

There is another thing I don't understand.

Learning Objective

State the causes of the following conditions, recognize the enzymatic reactions that cause them, state the metabolic consequences.

Phenylketonuria
Tetrahydrobiopterin synthetic defects
Dihydropteridine reductase deficiency
Maple syrup urine disease
Propionic acidemia
Multiple carboxylase deficiency
Biotinidase deficiency
Methylmalonic acidemia
Classical homocystinuria
Methylene tetrahydrofolate reductase deficiency
Vitamin B12 activation defects

Unlike bacon guns, however, this is one of a million factoids I will HAVE to understand in......oh.......seven days, which is our next exam date.

DOOM.

This post, however, has one happy thing that I don't understand, and that many people don't understand, in fact.

My baby can HICCUP in the womb! :) :) :) :) :) :) CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With increasing frequency, I've been noticing that my baby has two kinds of movements: one is her random kicking/head-butting/fist punching/somersaulting that she does without regard to my ribs, sides or kidneys. The other feels like tiny rhythmic tics deep in the belly. They are very gentle and don't last very long. I was curious as to what they were, googled it, and came up with an article in www.thelaboroflove.com about prenatal hiccups!! Just like with adult hiccups, scientists aren't sure why babies do it, but it's harmless, super cute, and really funny :).

Okay. My ADD is satisfied: time for more metabolic deficiencies.

For the Love of Food

2009-09-09T17:51:00.000-07:00

Because I don't feel like studying for the next few minutes, I will blog about something that touches the heart of men and women all over the world... FOOD!

The act of eating marks an important, intimate time for families and friends every where, every day, several times a day. Can any of you think of any major holidays that don't also involve copious amounts of food!? We all love to eat!

And so, in celebration of food, I will describe what Andrew made for dinner tonight. What began as a simple plan for "vegetables" turned into a gourmet experience. Of course, this is Andrew we are talking about. He is not a "leftovers" kind of cook.

First, he brought home Castelvano olives and a young French chevre. The olives are buttery green gems with a smooth finish on the palate: none of that sour after-taste that I hate in bad olives. The chevre is a creamy and tangy delight to the senses.

He paired the two with a white bordeaux wine with strong hints of grapefruit, and the "vegetables" turned out to be cherry tomatoes, crisp snowpeas, yellow onion and tender chicken sauteed in olive oil and homemade pesto.

Complement that with a crunchy French baguette, nutty roasted garlic fresh out of the oven, and strawberry jam to spread on the chevre, and we had a feast.

P.S.

I had this post all typed up and done, and then I realized how /perfectly/ it tied into today's lecture on amino acid synthesis and low-carb diets. Behold this picture from our first hour of lecture:

72 oz steak = 4.5 pounds of meat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's Texans for you.

Ponyo Ponyo, Fishie in the Sea...

2009-09-07T16:55:00.000-07:00

What an exhausting, entertaining weekend! Matt and my mother-in-law left for T-town this afternoon after a full three days of activity. First, though, Happy Labor Day!

Quite a few restaurants and coffeeshops were open. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of labor day? Oh well. Consumers must consume!!

This weekend was characterized by a few things. We enjoyed a wine, cheese, and bread feast ala Molto Formaggio on Saturday. Sunday afternoon, we (Andrew, Matt, Mom-in-law, Jeremy, Sarah, and my little sister) hit up Northpark Mall to watch Ponyo, the new Miyazaki children's animated film, and to do a little...

SHOPPING!!!

Due to Labor Day sales, the big retail stores were infested with deal-hungry shopping sharks (99.9% female) combing the 70% off sales racks. The shoe section was a war zone: boxes thrown everywhere, shoes missing partners, displays missing pieces, piles of jumbled pumps and heels laying like carnage on the floor. Sometimes we came across the glum boyfriend/husband/young son, slouched on dressing room couches and fitting chairs and staring at their shoes or their cellphones. Usually holding/weighted by/drowning in lots and lots of bags :).

Three of us McConnell women and my poor sister (muahaha, she doesn't like shopping) looked at shoes, purses, dresses, shirts, jewelry, and then went to the next store to look at more shoes, purses, dresses, shirts, and jewelry. My mother-in-law got me a gorgeous dress that I can wear now AND after pregnancy!

And that tangentially brings me to the topic of our Baby... I found this randomly cute little chubby-cheeked Asian baby picture.

Awwww

I wonder if my girl will look more like that, or more like Andrew. I guess that's why Andrew occasionally refers to our potential progeny as "experiments." True. Callous, but true :).

My mom (my real mom) loaded us up with free baby things this weekend. She has been contacting all her friends whose kiddos are grown up and growing up, and we are now the recipient of their closet-clearing generosity! Really, it's the best thing ever. We acquired cribs, playpens, highchairs, carseats (both infant and baby), strollers and other random items without spending a dime. It's nice, especially since Baby won't be getting a baby shower. We've definitely been "showered" with hand-me-downs and lots of love!!

Showers make me think of water, and water reminds me of PONYO. (Bear with me, this is how my mind works).

My opinion? It was a very cute movie. It was kid-friendly. Otherwise, it wasn't one of Miyazaki's strongest works. The art was very different, almost crayon-y. Ponyo was a pretty movie, and although it had glaring plot flaws, I enjoyed it :). Basically, I liked it. Andrew didn't.

Well, it might be time to end this post. I am having the hardest time getting back to studying!

Andrew just leaned over in his chair and whispered, "I love you." Of course that merited a kiss :).

And now to proteins and hemoglobin oxygen curves...

Saturday and the Smell of Coffee

2009-09-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

....aaaahhhhh....

It's Saturday.

I made coffee.

Listening to relaxing music.

Had a slow morning.

Passed the biochem test :)

Matt and Mom-in-law coming to town this afternoon!!!

Going to see a movie at some point.

I love Saturdays.

Content :)

Here are some adorable offerings from one of my favorite cute websites, Cute Overload. Enjoy, and Happy Saturday!

Post-Exam Picture Celebration

2009-09-02T15:37:00.000-07:00

After 70 hours of study represented in 99 test questions, my first medical school exam is complete! I feel confident about the outcome: I probably didn't ace it, but I know I didn't fail. Unless, of course, all that studying has led to biochem-induced delusions...

To celebrate this most excellent evening, I am indulging in a fun post with lots of pictures!

First, for all you coffee lovers in the Dallas area, Andrew and I recently visited an awesome coffeeshop near downtown that is just fantastic.

Check it out: Urban Dog Coffee.

The coffee is very good. Nothing will ever beat Doubleshot, but I really like the atmosphere at Urban Dog. It's not too big, or crowded. There are comfy chairs and a nice couch and tables and cool, trendy art by local artists. Everything a decent coffeeshop ought to have :). While we were there, a photographer was setting up his show for a silent auction that evening. Anyway, it's a cool shop. It has the best lighting in the evenings, too... good homey sunshine.

I also thought this cup was hilarious.

Just a little cup of joe, right? Think again!!

It's a bowl of coffee! (Don't worry, it was decaf :P)

That same day we found Urban Dog, Andrew and I saw some interesting vehicles on the road. This first one was a crane. This picture can only show you half of the sucker: it was HUGE! Tires as big as me!

And the next vehicle was a police car. Not a sweet cruiser like this mythical creature...

No, Dallas doesn't apparently treat its sheriffs to such luxury.

Seriously? I'm not sure I would even stop if one of these clunkers tried to pull me over :).

To change subjects one last time, Andrew has been Mr. Awesome this week. He is still getting the hang of cleaning up, but the food has been GREAT. To get your salivary glands going, here is a menu of this week's fare.

Dinner ala Andrew

SUNDAY

Italian risotto with fresh grated Pecorino cheese

MONDAY

Roast leg of lamb with garlic cloves and rosemary

Soy-sauce sauteed spinach and onion

TUESDAY

Honey and soy-sauce marinated steaks

Summer salad with fresh strawberries and aged gouda, tossed in red wine honey vinaigrette

French baguette

TODAY

Steak fajitas with avocado, sweet corn, black beans, mushrooms, green peppers

Home-made cilantro-tomato salsa with green chile tortilla chips

What can I say? I love my hubby :).

Attention: Medical School is Worth It...

2009-08-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

Medical school just began, and it has already paid off.

Today, for the first time ever, I recognized something that was diagnosed in HOUSE.

The disorder is called ovarian endometriosis. What happens is that tissue from the uterine lining ends up outside the uterus, and during a woman's period when she is bleeding, the cyst of tissue bleeds also. Yikes.

So when Andrew and I were watching House this evening, and Dr. House dramatically proclaims, "This woman has endometriosis..." I yelled, "OH MY GOSH I KNOW WHAT THAT IS!!!" I'm such a dork.

Usually these blood-filled cysts end up in the pelvis and cause pain. They don't really travel that far from their origins. Of course, it being House, the poor lady with endometriosis had the cysts all over her body, including her lungs... Oh well. Makes for a cool story and appropriately awful, House-worthy patient suffering.

I really needed Taco Bell bean burritos...

2009-08-28T17:30:00.000-07:00

Today I had a craving for bean burritos from Taco Bell. I sent Andrew these two text messages during my biochemistry lecture this morning:

1. 11:32 a.m. HUNGRY

2. 11:33 a.m. I WANT A TACO BELL BEAN BURRITO

He replied: "We'll find you a burrito." What a sweet man. He made me a breakfast of eggs, yogurt and fruit that morning (at 9:20 a.m.) but something went awry in the hunger department and I was famished before noon, craving no less than a Taco Bell burrito. Cheesy, beany, mild-sauce-soaked om-nom-ness.

WAIT. I have to digress. Dear, valued older readers: have you ever heard of the onnom phenom? The Urban Dictionary defines it to be:

1. An onomatopoeical adjective based on the sound emitted when something is "oh so tasty"

2. The sound of ravenous eating. Popularized by the character Cookie Monster on Sesame street, it is now used commonly in speech, especially among younger people. Cookie Monster exclaims "OM NOM NOM NOM" when gobbling down cookies (and whatever else goes in his mouth).

The onnom phenom is really best described, however, with a picture:

ON NOM NOM!

Ha, all right. Now you know. It's been around awhile, but it still retains its silly awesomeness. Back to story...

When Andrew picked me up, we drove aimlessly towards downtown to try to find a Taco Bell. We looped around on a highway... circled the city...got lost...didn't see a Bell...then decided to Google our way. We went back to the apartment, looked up locations of Taco Bell and headed out. The first location didn't exist, the second was back where UTSW was! To wrap up, we spent over an hour driving around trying to find some very, very, nasty onnom food. I ate two bean burritos and an apple pastry an was happy as a clam. Andrew ate his burritos and felt sick. Hehehe... Oh, the things one can get away with when one is a pregnant woman!

So today was the last day of lecture before our next test. I am feeling pretty good about it, actually. Good enough to be sitting here calmly blogging and not feeling my heart rate go up at the thought of my first medical school exam. This evening we are having David and Kathryn crash at our place, and tomorrow we are having a dinner + study session with a colleague of mine from school and her husband. The weekend looks promising from where I sit!

Patients, Doctors, and a Riddle is Solved

2009-08-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

Today was yet another day of adventure for the preggo med student. I had my three-hour glucose tolerance test in the morning, so let's start with that lovely trial.

I ate my last meal at 6 p.m. yesterday, and woke up at 7 a.m. today STARVING. Andrew and I groggily prepared for what we knew was going to be a long morning. I suggested that he eat breakfast; he declined to eat without me in a kind, but ridiculous, act of solidarity. At the hospital, I was told to check into outpatient registration. Outpatient registration redirected me to, of all places, the GI-- gastroenterology-- lab! (Read=elderly patients). I have absolutely no idea why I took a gestational diabetes test in the middle of the GI lab... but there were alot of cute old people wandering about.

So, after waiting 1.5 hours, they finally started the test. Took my blood, then made me down the drink of sugar death.

It looked like this. We hates it, preciouss.

I drank it within the allotted 5 minutes, and over the next three hours they drew blood three more times, one for each hour. I wasn't allowed to eat until after 12:30 p.m., when my blood was drawn one last time. Fun, yes? No. No fun. The only good thing was that the gift shop in the hospital lobby was having a $5 jewelry set sale!!! I got 5 sets of matching earrings + necklaces for only 25 bucks. Sweet. Oh, and I forgot. The other good thing was the nurses. I've decided that nice nurses are really awesome people. They spend all day sticking needles into people, cleaning bedpans and all kinds of chores, and they still manage to smile and make you laugh. Plus they don't have the god-complex that some physicians tend to have. I like how practical they are.

Around 11 a.m., Andrew ran back home to pick up my scrubs (I had been told to wear them to my mentor meeting at 1 pm at UTSW) and grab lunch for us. (Leftover shepherd's pie, yum!). We scooted out the door at 12:35 p.m. on the dot and were at UTSW at 12:56 p.m. I didn't know where to meet for my small group, but luckily I ran into a classmate who directed me to the library.

I was breathless and unprepared for my meeting, AND when I arrived, I realized that I had under-dressed! The dress code is either business casual or scrubs. Well, I picked the wrong day to wear scrubs... everyone else had on their nice business outfits. I felt slightly stupid in black spandex leggings and my red t-shirt and sneakers. Oh well! My mentor was cool, though. She showed us how to take blood pressure readings with the sphygamomowhatevermomomonomter. I'd never done it before, so I bungled it my first time, but it was still awesome. It made me feel a little more doctor-ish, you know?

Going from being a patient to being a pretend doctor felt like being turned upside-down, shaken up, and set on my feet again. Like a snow globe. As we practiced bp readings in our physician mentor's clinic, one of my colleagues noted how he appreciated the clinical setting that gave it that "authentic" feel. I could only think, hey I just spent three hours in just such a clinical setting and it wasn't that awesome. Actually, I couldn't wait to get out. Interesting how perspectives change when you're a doctor and when you're a patient.

I loved learning from our mentor, and thoroughly appreciated the discussion that took place afterwards (we talked about the value of observational skills while we reviewed photos of patients with various diseases). But just an hour before this invigorating becoming-a-doctor session, I was a patient in a waiting room, tired and hungry, dizzy from the sugar overload, sick of needle sticks, sporting band-aids on both arms, and bearing the tell-tale plastic wristband of a hospital patient.

I promise that I won't lose track of the human side of me as I progress into medicine. I'm going to be learning a lot about how to see diseases as a set of physical manifestations, but I hope that I never forget that these diseases physically manifest themselves in a human body!

Okay, Jenny has stepped down from her little soap-box. Here is an ADORABLE email that my brother sent Andrew.

Remember the riddle from the last post? Here is Jason's answer:

Tue, Aug 25, 2009

The answer is Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

Sincerely your Brother in law and kung-fu student
Jason

Mondays aren't always bad

2009-08-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

Despite a mix good things and bad things, I have to conclude that today was a good day. Let's start with the bad...

Apparently I failed to pass my one-hour glucose screening test for gestational diabetes, so I have to go back on Wednesday and take a three-hour screening test where they make me drink lots of sugar water and take my blood every hour. Online resources indicate that there are quite a few false positives in the initial one-hour screening tests, so this doesn't mean I have diabetes. Of course, having gestational diabetes can put you at risk for Type II diabetes later on, and because I am Asian and have a parent with diabetes, I need to watch out for Type II later in life. Fortunately, the best prevention is a healthy diet and lots of exercise. Good thing I love vegetables and like sports :).

That was all the bad news, really.

The good news is that I am currently healthy, Baby is doing well, Andrew loves me and made a delicious dinner of grilled chicken, corn and zucchini, and I have a working brain that is absorbing as much biochemistry as possible. We have (borrowed) money to pay bills, a nicely stocked fridge, loving family and great friends. What more can I ask for? God is good.

Here are some pictures for you to enjoy. This first is part of Andrew's "kung-fu" training for my little brother, Jason. The intense training regimen involves such tasks as: enduring a tickle-torture for 30 seconds, pushing past a barrier of pillows, wrestling matches, poke fights, stare downs and the like. This aged document was created by Andrew for Jason to solve. Can you answer the puzzle? It reads: "Name, O Kung-Fu Student, 3 days of the week that are not Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday."

Exhibit: Very Old Document with Secret Riddle from Internet Site

This second picture is my first-ever preggo Jenny picture. I am dressed up for the physician's dinner I mentioned in my previous post. The dress is my engagement dress; I discovered it still fit and looked cute over a pair of black stretch leggings and little white shoes.

Photo: There's mah belly!

I don't think it's a very good picture, but it's the first one so whatever. I am a few weeks from 7 months now!!

Aaaaand it's 11 pm. Ha. I was going to study all evening, but we ended up watching an episode of House and I felt like blogging. So, lots to study tomorrow. I had planned on studying today while my class was in anatomy lab, but today was just one of those pregnant days where I was tired. So I napped three hours instead, from 1 to 4. Tomorrow I only have class from 9 to 12. I'll go to a pediatric interest group at noon, but my classmates have anatomy from 1 to 5, which I am not attending...

Wow! I never would have supposed that the beginning of school would be this blessedly smooth sailing. I am glad that I have this time to ease into what will become an increasingly hectic schedule, and very thankful that I have time especially now in pregnancy to take three hours naps in the middle of the day :). I couldn't have picked a better time to be pregnant and in medical school, really. Yet another reason that this Monday has been a good Monday!

:o)

A Little Disappointment

2009-08-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

I attended a physician and student dinner function today (you know: fancy food, wine, schmoozing and lots of speeches in a hotel ballroom), and I was a little disappointed by my encounter with some physicians I met. Don't get me wrong: they were very nice people and do great things with their specialties, I'm sure. What got me was their attitude towards the current healthcare reform movement.

During one of the speeches, the physicians at my table made several disapproving noises and even rude comments out loud, as it became clear that the speaker's position was, with a few reservations, pro-HR-3200. After the speech had concluded, these same physicians turned to us (the students at the table) and began to explain why they were against this bill.

I was interested. What were they so worried about? It turned out that it had much, much, MUCH less to do with their patients then their pocketbooks.

"It's awful. They'll hit you hard," they told us. "If you make more than $250,000 a year, they'll tax you even more. They going to cut reimbursements by a huge percent. They've already cut how much we get. If you're married, it'll be even worse. We used to get $2300 a procedure. They've cut that 75% already."

I am so politically obtuse that I have nothing to say on HR3200, so don't expect me to rant. I do know, however, that as a physician, my main objective is the care of the patient. Of course, I have many, many other reasons for wanting good, affordable healthcare for patients; the aforementioned reason is what I consider to be my "professional" stance.

It made me sad to listen to these physicians, these seasoned doctors who are supposed to be our role models, talking like this: "$$$$$$$$." I suppose that is what I get for believing that medicine is my calling and not just my career.

I kinda miss Tulsa...

2009-08-21T22:35:00.001-07:00

...but I miss Tulsa friends and family more! Looking at facebook pictures of friendly faces makes one nostalgic.

It is the weekend already, and my little sister is leaving for her college tomorrow. She'll be a sophomore. Andrew is picking up some gourmet cheese from his work, Molto Formaggio, to celebrate tonight at my parents' house. If you ever have a hankering for really, really quality cheese in Dallas, this cheese shop is the place to go.

I'll be studying and cleaning today. I am beginning to see how the life of a married medical student might be a lonely one. Most everyone else has a med student roommate or at least lives in the proximity of a lot of other students, and their schedules and free evenings permit random study sessions, going out at night, 3 a.m. IHOP runs, etc. It was bonding times like these that made me all my friends during undergrad, so not having the freedom to be that spontaneous anymore might mean relationships at medical school will have to be fought for :). Well, I'm not opposed to a challenge, and I suppose that the friends I do make will be well worth keeping!

And besides: being married has its benefits. Lots and lots of them :) :) :). Like life-long companionship, sharing a common goal of building a family together, unparalleled intimacy, unconditional love, the comfort of knowing there is at least ONE other person in the world as weird as you are...

Yup. Being married has its perks. I wouldn't trade it for anything..............well............. maybe a passing grade on this upcoming Biochem test.........NOPE! Perish the thought! Andrew is the best thing that ever happened to me, and the second best thing that ever happened to me is kicking up a storm. I think Baby is caffeinated, ha.

I spent some time cleaning up my desktop yesterday, and I re-decorated my dock icons.

HELLO KITTY!

Biochemistry and Baby

2009-08-19T21:11:00.000-07:00

Biochemistry

Today was the second day of lectures, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had learned 80% of the material, and was familiar with the remaining 20%. Hardly any of it was brand-new.
Thanks to a biochemistry of cancer course that I took my senior year, I DID recognize the evilness pictured above. My fellow chemistry/biochemistry majors will smile, grin, and nod when they see it. Our professor was a charitable soul. He identified with our plight, correctly deducing that the mere words, "cell cycle pathway," would provoke the following response:

He showed this picture on the first PowerPoint slide, and we collectively laughed. Then he proceeded to lecture, of course.

Baby

I had my one month check-up today! Everything looks good. Apparently I am slightly anemic from pregnancy, so I'm taking these really hard-core looking iron pills. We listened to Baby's heartbeat--sounds healthy. They made me drink some sick-nasty sugar solution to check for diabetes, and while I waited around for the test to finish up I studied.

Our baby is feisty: when the NP applied the ultrasound probe to my belly, she kicked at it and scooted all the way to the other side. The NP had to chase her around and pin her down to listen to the heartbeat.

That's my girl!

The First Day is Done

2009-08-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

My first day at UTSW is finished and I am Oriented out of my MIND. Today was a day of paperwork, paperwork, info-sessions and more paperwork. Some things I have already learned:

I am the only pregnant med student in my class so far as I can tell
Medical schools love forms, fliers and handouts
There are a lot of cool Asian girls (like me :)) becoming doctors
Medical equipment is freaking expensive

Some more interesting news: we got fitted for our white coats, which will be embroidered with the UTSW logo and our name and presented to us at the white coat ceremony. UTSW claims our white coats will make us look like this:

I have come to understand, however, that our class of 2013 will probably look more like this:

In looking over the syllabus, I realized that med students in their second year are correct when they warn us that one semester's worth of undergraduate biochemistry is covered in one week of medical biochemistry. I think I have 200 pages of pre-class reading and 75 pages of stuff I NEED TO MEMORIZE in this one week alone. And that's only one class! Well, somehow I'll get through this semester. I am excited by challenges and encouraged by all the support and love that my wonderful husband and loving family are giving me.

Now for some quick baby news: I do have a bump, I determined. It looks sizable to me, but three people commented today that I looked *so small* for being 6 months along. Well, I like to think my people specialize in the small and cute :P. These are just a few of the cell-phone charm offerings at one of my favorite cute Japanese product websites, Strapya World. I LOVE Strapya World. I would spend big $$ there if I could spare them. It's things like these that make me proud to be Japanese.

Okay, back to real life. The more I think about "Miriam" as a name, the more I like it. Nothing set in concrete of course, so you won't find me embroidering names on anything. Not that I know how to embroider.

I am so excited to meet my child. She will be cuter than all the Strapya accessories in the world :).

Orientation, Equipment Fairs, and OB Appointments

2009-08-14T19:03:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow at 8:15, we are leaving for the official UTSW orientation. I say "we" because the medical school kindly takes into account its married students, and spouses are allowed on the retreat :). We'll be gone Saturday and Sunday. Classes officially start on Monday, but the first lectures aren't until Tuesday, because Monday is another orientation day.

I found out that one of the events planned for Monday is an "equipment fair." The associate dean of the medical school kindly put together an 11-page PDF document detailing different kinds of equipment necessary for med students. It feels like Harry Potter's list of items for Hogwarts, but instead of cauldrons I'll be buying reflex hammers...

The List

Stethoscope
Ophthalmoscope
Otoscope
Reflex hammer
Tuning forks
Sphygmomanometer (!?)

The last item is a blood pressure cuff. No wonder I've never heard its proper name spoken. I'm not even sure where to start dividing up those syllables. I think these are my options:

sphyg-mo-ma-no-meter

sphyg-mom-a-no-meter

The document also goes into wonderfully geeky detail about the pros and cons of various features of the equipment. An example: the dean describes how the PanOptic(TM) ophthalmoscope head is a good option because of the "greatly enhanced ability to see the retina." Observe:

Ha! Cool!

Well, in Baby's world, my next OB appointment is this week. I am crossing my fingers that they'll do another sonogram. It's so much fun to see our little girl on the screen, squirming away from the ultrasound probe! She has been kicking up a storm lately. I'm beginning to wonder exactly how active of a baby we're going to have... :)

For the curious, Andrew and I HAVE been tossing up baby name ideas, and the one name that keeps popping up is Miriam. There are so many nicknaming possibilities in Miriam. For instance, Mimi...

CUTE!!!

I WIN!

2009-08-12T13:21:00.000-07:00

2:30 a.m. I'd been on the phone for one hour already. AT&T customer service. One little DSL modem.

Grrr! In the end, I triumphed despite this little modem's best efforts. As of 2 pm today, I successfully purchased, installed, set up, configured, and wept over our wireless AT&T internet connection. It was not a fun experience, but now we are happily surfing the internets on a legit WiFi. I do, however, pity the customer service specialist who is taking calls at 2 a.m.(!)

Medical News: So I received a little email from my medical biochemistry professor today. We have a reading assignment prior to the first day of class. This does not bode well! Luckily, I was looking over the material and at least it is familiar.

A little protein, anybody? Today's science fact: amino acids are the building blocks of proteins, just like little Lego blocks. There are lots--almost endless--combinations of aminos acids, just like there are almost endless options of cool space ships prototypes and sweet pirate boats for the average Lego builder.

Baby News: I am writing a thank-you letter to Kevin and Holly, because they sent us some a-dorable baby items! Pictured here is a very cute pink elephant onesie.

Yay for cute things!! Thanks, Kevin and Holly :).

Post the First

2009-08-10T22:40:00.000-07:00

I'm calling my blog "The Naga Saga" because it is past midnight and I couldn't think of a better name. And also because it has some sentimental value, being one of many nicknames college friends gave me. And maybe, too, because some very significant changes are about to take place in my life, so I might as well blog about it and, heck, call it a saga while I'm at it.

1) Medical school at UT Southwestern begins on August 17th.

2) My baby girl is due in November.

Yes, these are happening in the same year. Call me crazy, judge me if you will, but it's how things have worked out and I can already see how it was the best decision. Between a loving hubby and a supportive super-mom, I have a feeling motherhood and medical school will be entirely compatible.

Well, I am sitting next to my uber cute Andrew, who is reading, and the only sounds are the clack of my keyboard and the swish-swash of the dishwasher. We have a cool, trendy loft apartment near downtown Dallas and our bellies are full of honey-soysauce-garlic-glazed chicken. For all this, I am supremely thankful. I spent five hours today perusing a Holocaust book, and I am haunted by images of humans starved out of existence and children being buried alive. It reminds me how much we have to be thankful for. (I'll probably need to remember that, come August 17th.)

"The Sanctification of Life." I believe that is what the Jewish people began to call their decision to celebrate, value, and cherish their life when the Nazi regime was trying to stamp it out. Kiddush ha-Hayyim.

I like it. In the face of all odds, these people were able to say: Yay, life!

L'Chaim!