The Tale of a Tiny Asian Girl and a Tall White Dude

A Love Story

Once upon a time, there was an Tiny Asian Girl who grew up and went to college. She was an awkward, home-schooled, over-achieving type A personality who had never been kissed.

And once upon a time, there was a Tall White Dude who was also attending the very same college. He was an underachieving sophomore, a philosophy major and guitar player who wore Bob Marley shirts and went barefoot in the winter.

They met that first week of school. The White Dude recognized her from a mutual facebook acquaintance. He had seen her profile picture and thought, "She's cute." He was happy to see the Asian Girl.

The Asian Girl forgot him and his name, immediately.

White Dude and Asian Girl eventually got to talking because they shared so many friends. They found that they liked to talk to each other, but that they liked arguing even more. They argued about everything, for hours at a time. They argued over countless cups of coffee and cash-only Chinese. They argued until 5 in the morning.




One day, they came upon the subject of dating. Asian Girl told White Dude that she never wanted to date or marry, because she wanted to be a research doctor. This was not true, but neither Asian Girl nor White Dude knew it.

So they continued to spend time together, and White Dude even brought her to meet his Mom, who was a Real doctor. Doctor Mom cooked White Dude and Asian Girl a steak dinner and lit candles in the dining room. Then she left them alone. Doctor Mom told White Dude to marry Asian Girl.

Then White Dude began to feel bad, because Asian Girl still kept telling him that she didn't want to date anyone. White Dude wanted to be a Mature Man. So White Dude took Asian Girl to coffee and they had a DTR.

"I'm 99% sure you don't want to date," he said.

Asian Girl was angry, but she didn't know why. So she replied:

"Make that 100%."

During Asian Girl's sophomore year, she and White Dude were Just Friends. They talked about a lot, as Just Friends. They still liked to argue. They went out for coffee again. They emailed.

White Dude and Asian Girl were good friends, and they could talk about anything. They talked about their goals for the future. They talked about what they thought a marriage should look like. They swapped stories from their past. They told each other what they found attractive in a person. They shared struggles.

Then one day, Asian Girl had a Revelation. She realized that she did want to date, and that she did want to get married some day. She just hadn't been ready. She also realized that she really, really liked White Dude, and had liked him ever since they started arguing. She began to worry that she had blown her chance with him. So Asian Girl told White Dude about her change in attitude, although she did not tell him that she liked him.

The next day, White Dude asked her out for coffee.

As it happens, Asian Girl was observing White Dude's Doctor Mom in her clinic that Friday. Doctor Mom had a good time with Asian Girl. Doctor Mom then invited Asian Girl to Easter Sunday lunch at her house.

So White Dude and Asian Girl went to church together, and then had lunch. Because they were already together for lunch, they decided to do their date that day, so they got coffee. The first coffeeshop closed, so they went to a second. The second closed late that night and they got hungry, so they ate more Chinese. White Dude paid, and Asian Girl let him. He walked her home.

One week later, White Dude told Asian Girl that he liked her. Asian Girl told him that she liked him, too. They high-fived. Asian Girl giggled a lot.

They did not kiss until 8 months later, when White Dude gave Asian Girl a diamond and asked her to marry him. And it was not a good kiss, because Asian Girl had never done it before, but she got the hang of it pretty quick.

They married as best friends four months later.

Five years into the future, Asian Girl still loves White Dude, and White Dude loves Asian Girl. They both love their daughter. Asian Girl falls asleep in White Dude's arms every night after he brings her a glass of water. They cuddle on the couch and they hold hands in the car. They agree that each year of marriage has been better than the last. They talk about how much they like each other. They still laugh and argue. They still like bad Chinese food and good coffee.

Real love, Asian Girl would have you know, is deep and abiding, a state of the soul rather than a flutter of the heart. It is confident and visceral, not nervous and self-aware. She would say that the chills and thrills of new romance is nothing but an unsatisfactory experience, the hinting and the rumors of the real thing. Real love is productive rather than consumptive, and its fruit is as sweet as it is satisfying.

Asian Girl would like everyone to know that her heart and soul is still her White Dude; that he completes her; that White Dude is the best decision she has ever made, and she cannot imagine a life without him in it. Even so, she would also say that neither of them have love simply because they deserve love. White Guy is not the best man in the world, and Asian Girl is not the best woman. They are broken and ugly and at times, reprehensible.

They have love because they have chosen to give it to each other, regardless of the good, the bad, or the ugly. They have continued to make this choice each day.

Truly, Asian Girl would say, she feels that marriage is a picture of Christ's love of his people.

***

In the words of White Dude:
"Merry Happy Valentine's Day!!!"