Thursday, March 14, 2013

Match

When I was four years old, I told my mother that I wanted to become a doctor when I grew up. Since then, my dream has never changed. And now here I am, 12 hours away from being handed the envelope with the name of the institution where I will spend my first years as a honest-to-god M.D.

I am so excited that I cannot even express it. I have trouble explaining to some people why it matters so much to me. It's hard to describe wanting something so badly from before I was old enough to really understand what I wanted... and now to be on the edge of it, ready for the next step. I cannot believe how excited I am.

So excited, so scared, feeling so blessed. This is what it feels like to have a dream come true. I have always had a sense of purpose and a sense of meaning in my life, and a large part of that spills over into my sense of duty: I am /supposed/ to be a doctor. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I'll just straight up say, I feel like I was born for this!

Isn't that strange? I never dreamed of having a boyfriend or getting married. I never dreamed of having children. When I was little, really up until the second year of undergrad, my dream was to learn the skills necessary to save lives and alleviate illness. I wanted to exercise my mind and feed my insatiable curiosity to /know/ things, and I wanted at all costs to avoid just having a "job." Tomorrow really does represent the fulfillment of a life-long desire.

I thank God, really, that He has allowed me to not have forgotten Life as I pursued my dream. I don't feel like I deserve the husband and the daughter that I have, but there they are... one is asleep in her toddler bed in the next room over, and the other is lying next to me in bed joking about why I am blogging, what my blogging-objective, that is to say my "blogject", is. He is also poking me to get my attention but I REFUSE because I am still blogging... ANDREW!!!

(He laughs).

Ok, back to the topic. Friends, I am so excited. I am so incredibly happy. I have wanted this for 21 years. I cannot wait for tomorrow, and I wish everyone could feel the same happiness and contentment that I feel right now, because it feels like it's too much for this one small person!!!

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